What to do when you’ve discovered that a family of mice have taken up residence under your kitchen sink/behind your dishwasher:
Not to be confused with the name of a tacky hair accessory, scrunning means screaming and running simultaneously. Attractive? No. Necessary? Absolutely.
2. While you are scrunning, make a terrified leap/lunge for the sofa.
Remember when you were a kid and you’d play that game where the floor was a shark infested ocean? And you had to leap onto pillows and furniture without touching the floor in order to keep from being eaten? Well, that was training for a moment such as this. Life is just full of lessons, isn’t it?
3. Call your husband and cry.
When he informs you that he will not be home for at least 5 or 6 more hours, begin sobbing uncontrollably. The more syllables you can work in to your words, the better. For instance: “Buh-uh-t Huh-*sob*-huh-honey….” is much better than a tearful “But honey….”. Once again, pull from your childhood if necessary.
4. Once you hang up, realize that you incurred an ankle injury during your lunge/leap.
It is of utmost importance that you react appropriately to the situation, because this is a huge opportunity to get the sympathy you deserve. Wearing an ankle support brace would garner some sympathetic looks, but driving a bedazzled Hoveround would yield an appropriate combination of sympathy and admiration for your spunky bravery. Plus, Hoveround drivers do not have to yield to pedestrians, which would make you feel powerful and important.
5. In a sudden moment of genius, excitedly gather scraps of fabric and cleaning supplies and place them within safe reach of the mouse living quarters.
It is quite apparent that such a number of mice would converge for one reason and one reason only: they intend on cleaning your house and fashioning you a ball gown in a fabulous Disney-esque extravaganza. Clasp your hands in wonder and amazement. You always knew this moment would come, didn’t you?
6. A few hours and 3 episodes of Atlanta Housewives later, face the facts.
You are a questionable television watching 30 year-old woman, walking with a limp in a messy house infiltrated by a murderous mouse army. Only brownies can salvage this situation. More specifically, brownies with peanut butter and candy on them.
7. Make the brownies.
And then eat one. Or twenty seven.
Adapted from Betty Crocker Fall Baking Oct/Nov 2010
1 box (1 lb 2.3 oz ) Betty Crocker Fudge Brownie Mix
Water, oil, and eggs called for on box
1 jar (7 oz ) marshmallow creme
1/2 cup creamy peanut butter
1 tablespoon milk
30 miniature Reese’s Cups, chopped into quarters
About 1/2 cup-1 cup Reese’s Pieces
1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1/2 teaspoon vegetable oil
Heat oven to 350. Grease bottom only of 13×9 inch pan.
Make brownie mix as directed on box using water, oil and eggs. Bake 24-26 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool completely on a wire rack.
In a medium bowl, beat marshmallow creme, peanut butter, and milk with an electric mixer until smooth and creamy. Spread over cooled brownies. Sprinkle with chopped Reese’s Cups and Reese’s Pieces.
In a small microwaveable bowl, combine chocolate chips and oil. Microwave on high for about 1 minute or until melted, stirring after 30 seconds. Drizzle over brownies. Let stand 30 minutes or until chocolate is set before cutting and serving.
I hope these can help you salvage a sucky day. Or make a good day better.