This Swiss Roll Cookies and Cream Cake is a junk food lovers dream! Layers of sliced Swiss Rolls with a creamy cookies and cream cheesecake filling.
I have decided that I am allergic to opinions.
My Opinion Allergy covers pretty much all opinions, but my Child Raising Opinions allergy is particularly severe. As you can probably imagine, Facebook is bordering on hazardous to my health. Opinions are rampant over there, about the most trivial of matters.
AND OMG YOU GUYS. All the passion. I have never seen such uproar over bedtimes and co-sleeping and breastfeeding and processed snacks. People are seriously DISTRAUGHT over which bed some four year old halfway across the country is sleeping in.
I honestly do not understand it. I mean, there are things in life to get upset over (like The Bachelor finale? Hello, lame. Also? CULOTTES are back in style. THIS IS UPSETTING.), and then there are things that ain’t nobody got time for. And ain’t no normal person got time to rail against some random mom for giving her son an Oatmeal Cream Pie. For the love, people, are you not exhausted from your OWN KIDS?
My kids are exhausting. I love them, but they are work. There’s all the meals (three a day! Plus snacks!) and questions and playing with toys and things, which sometimes involves pretending to be an animal and crawling around on all fours. There’s poopy diapers and homework and chocolate stained shirts and sticky hands to wipe and video game levels to help beat. By the time all that is over at the end of the day, the last thing I want to do is help raise your kids. I just want some dang wine, Sour Patch Kids, and Olivia Pope handling her business. The end.
So I have decided that when someone advises me on how to raise my children, I will calmly say, “I’m sorry, I have a severe Opinion Allergy, and if you do not stop talking right now, my throat will swell up and I will die, but not before I point to you as my killer.”
Nothing like the threat prison to make things nice and awkward.
And there’s really no better way of saying, Hello, I Am The Boss of My Life and My Own Kids like making a giant cake out of prepackaged snacks. And then eating it like the boss that you are.
This cake is actually SUPER yum and absolutely GORGEOUS to look at and requires minimal effort and NO baking! A springform pan is lined with sliced Swiss Rolls and filled with a whipped Oreo cheesecake filling. It’s really a lot of fun and perfect for a special occasion. Or a Tuesday.
Do it do it do it!
- 18 Swiss Roll cakes (9 two packs), unwrapped and sliced into 1/4-1/3 inch slices
- 8 oz cream cheese, softened to room temperature
- 1/2 cup powdered sugar
- 1 1/2 cups heavy whipping cream, cold
- 12 chocolate sandwich cookies
- Line a 9 inch springform pan with plastic wrap. Set aside.
- Place a metal mixing bowl and your mixer whisk attachment in the freezer.
- In a medium bowl, beat cream cheese and powdered sugar with your hand mixer, on medium speed until smooth and creamy. Set aside.
- Remove chilled bowl and whisk attachment from freezer. Pour heavy cream in bowl and beat with the chilled whisk attachment with the mixer on high speed, until a stiff whipped cream forms. Working with 1/3 of the whipped cream at a time, gently fold into the cream cheese mixture until smooth and blended. Once all the whipped cream has been added and the filling is smooth, fold in cookie pieces until combined.
- Line bottom and sides of springform pan with Swiss Roll slices. Spoon filling over the top and spread evenly. Top with remaining Swiss Roll slices to cover. Cover pan with plastic wrap or foil and refrigerate for at least several hours.
- To serve, turn pan out onto a cake plate and remove pan and wrap.
This cake is just so much fun. I hope you love it!