I thought I’d never say this: I’m so glad to be back in Arkansas.
Don’t get me wrong, California was completely awesome. Except for the fact that the entire state seems to have some sort of vendetta against me. I’m pretty positive they didn’t want me to make it out alive.
During our vacation we weathered the zoo, an earthquake, and a BOMB THREAT. And in case you don’t know me very well, all three of those things can be found on my list of “Things I Do Not Do”.
Especially the bomb threat thing. I don’t do well when I hear that there is a possible bomb in my vicinity. I picture being blown to smithereens…or at the very least, my beloved handbag falling victim to serious smoke damage.
Not a good thing.
Allow me to set the scene for you: My husband and I, being the wonderful, loving, parents that we are, decided to take the kids to Hollywood for the day.
Because we’re awesome like that. Or incredibly stupid. Whatev.
The first thing we did after we arrived (and paid way too much to park) was check out all the hand prints at the Chinese Theatre.
When we saw this one, we all began singing, “Animal crackers in my soup. Monkeys and rabbits loop the loop!”. Well…the kids and I did, anyways. My husband just looked at us like he wanted to escape. You know the face people make sometimes, like when they get on a roller coaster and it’s about to take off and they suddenly realize they are in over their head but it’s too late to do anything about it? Yeah, that face is the one he made.
Right in front of the Chinese Theatre, the Top Chef tour was set up and things were happening.
I have to admit that I have never watched Top Chef and had no idea who these dudes were. If you are familiar with them, give me some info.
We walked….and shopped….and walked….and looked…and shopped. My five year old son was super patient with the girls, so when we walked by this store and he asked my husband to take him in, we said “of course”.
What we didn’t realize, was that this store was going to set my son’s life on a completely different path.
My son emerged wearing a skull bandanna and a spiked bracelet, and he informed me that his new nickname was Spike. Thanks Hollywood…..I didn’t think I’d have to worry about checking his room for cigarettes and beer for at least ten more years. So much for that.
With Spike in tow, we crossed the street and began making our way back up Hollywood Blvd. When we got to the Jimmy Kimmel Studio, we were informed by guards that we had to turn around. Because they were roping off the street. Because of a BOMB THREAT.
I panicked, my husband appeared unconcerned, and the girls asked if they could go look around in Forever 21. Ummm….hello? There’s a possible bomb in our vicinity, people. Geez, get blown up much?
While the girls shopped, and my husband and Spike sat waiting and looking bored, I watched what was going on in the street. Caution tape was blocking traffic, police cars were pulling in, and guards were not permitting anyone to walk anywhere near Jimmy Kimmel Live. In between the breaths I was taking into a paper bag, I asked my husband to go investigate. He came back with the news that it was not a bomb threat, but in fact a celebrity was about to arrive at Jimmy Kimmel and they didn’t want him or her mobbed.
I excitedly grabbed the girls and we all joined the mob of people standing across the street from the show. With our cameras at the ready, I kept throwing out possible celebrities. “Justin Beiber!!” or “OMG guys, what if it’s Taylor Lautner?!” “But seriously, it had better not be Kristin Stewart, I will totally walk away and not even take a picture”.
After about 10 minutes, a woman who worked up the street came and told us that there was no celebrity and that her shop had been evacuated. Apparently there really had been a bomb threat at the bank on the corner, just down from Jimmy Kimmel.
The only thing worse than a bomb threat, is a bomb threat where you find out that it’s not a bomb, it’s actually a celebrity coming, but then it’s not, it actually is a bomb threat.
Needless to say, I was ready to go home to Arkansas and hide in my room and cry. While watching Dr. Phil and eating Frosted Flakes straight from the box.
But our trip wasn’t over. The next day, we decided to take the children to the beach. Because nothing soothes frazzled nerves like freezing cold ocean water.
Ahhhh…what a peaceful unbomb-ey day.
We were leaving for dinner straight from the beach, so Spike didn’t want to get his shorts all wet.
Really, who needs Hollywood?
I’ll be posting the first of two awesome giveaways tomorrow, so be sure to drop by!! I also have a few really great recipes planned…..I missed my kitchen!!