What to do when you’re home alone and look up from your laptop to see a box of cereal moving by itself in the kitchen:
1. Frantically call your husband at work.
This is a total waste of time because he will do nothing to help you, but it must be done. Because until he realizes the struggles you face everyday in this dog eat dog world of housewifeness, he will never fully respect you.
2. Demand that your husband immediately come home with that Ghost Trap thing from Ghostbusters.
Your husband is going to tell you that you’re being silly and that the whole thing was probably just caused by a mouse. Obviously no one has told him that mouse = worse than a ghost. #comfortingfail
3. You have reached the point in your conversation where your husband is trying to get off the phone. Listen for the phrase “everything will be fine, I promise”. Now is time for your dramatic finale. It may be the last conversation you have on this earth, after all.
Sobbing, say “if by FINE you mean that you will probably come home to writing all over the walls in my blood and me missing due to a mysterious ghost abduction, then I’m sure you’re right” and hang up. Let him worry. Your life is in jeopardy after all, and no one ever died from over worryingness.
4. It’s about 10 am. Contemplate just staying outside until your husband gets home around 6 pm.
Survey your immediate area for the survival gear you’d need to rough it in the outdoors for 8ish hours. I suppose you could just drive to the mall, but it’s an hour away and would also require interacting with humans, something that you need at least a day to anticipate and emotionally prepare yourself for.
5. After determining that you’d have to walk past said haunted cereal box to get to your hairspray in the bathroom, decide to get brave and face this thing head on.
Why do you need your hairspray? Uh….do I know you? Hairspray is a necessary thing. Sort of like a little aerosol security blanket. And by scaring you and separating you from it, this ghost is taking your power.
6. Decide that making peace and living with a ghost will probably result in a Day-O dinner party scene a la Beetlejuice, which is completely awesome.
Tell the ghost (in your most ghost friendly voice) that you are happy to have his company, and start planning your very first dinner party. Antisocial who?
As ALWAYS, the above situation is completely hypothetical.
And if you get an invitation from me for a dinner party, don’t question it. Just come on over.
I clipped this recipe from a local paper several years ago and sort of forgot about it until I came across it the other day. It was originally called Payday Cake, but since they are really bars, I changed the name to Payday Cake Bars.
Please don’t be too amazed by my vast ability to name stuff creatively. It’s actually quite easy.
(click here for printable recipe)
1 box yellow cake mix
1/3 cup butter, softened
3 cups mini marshmallows
2/3 cups light corn syrup
1/4 cup butter
2 teaspoons vanilla
10 oz bag Reese’s peanut butter chips
1 1/2 cups Rice Krispies
1 1/2 cups salted peanuts
Preheat oven to 350. Line a 9×13 pan with foil, allowing about an inch overhang on all sides.
In the bowl of a mixer, combine cake mix, 1/3 cup softened butter and egg until fully combined. Press evenly into prepared pan and bake for 15 minutes. Remove from oven and immediately sprinkle the top with the mini marshmallows. Gently press them into the top of the bars.
In a medium saucepan, combine corn syrup, 1/4 cup butter, vanilla and peanut butter chips and stir over medium heat until chips are melted. Remove from heat and add cereal and peanuts. Spoon mixture over the marshmallows and spread as quickly as possible.
Let cool completely before peeling back foil and cutting into bars.
Although these bars didn’t taste EXACTLY like Payday candy bars (marshmallow? Rice Krispies?) they were very good and easy. I highly recommend.
Know what I DON’T recommend? Calling your husband when you are being haunted by a cereal ghost.
Have a happy Monday!!
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