Who got the final rose from Bachelor Chris? I’m recapping all the drama!
Well, friends…it’s finally over. I had high hopes for this season, but sadly, they did not come to fruition. What a fail of a season. A dull, dreary fail. The only mildly interesting thing this year was a handful of crazy women, but even they weren’t quite enough to keep Chris on his toes.
As soon as it came down to Whitney and Becca, I pretty much knew how it would all end. And I was really disappointed with Chris’ inability to make a decision last week when he sent Caitlyn home. Was he really THAT torn? So torn that he just chose a name and crossed his fingers that it was the right one? It seems like by this point in the game, he should have an ounce of certainty, at the very least. And I don’t think that it bodes well for the winner, that’s for darn sure.
Also, Chris — you are TOTES NOT A REAL FARMER. I’ve lived in small town Arkansas for infinity, and you are not a dude who is living the simple life day in and day out. Your clothes are way too fitted and those puffy vests are a dead giveaway. What’s with all the lies, homes?
The finale episode opened with Whitney visiting Chris at his parent’s home in Iowa. It went about how you’d expect it to — She wore flannel (blah), she loved everything about the house (blah), and she hit it off with his family immediately (blah). She excitedly talked a mile a minute and professed her undying love and devotion to Chris at every opportunity. Quit her career and move out to the middle of nowhere to be with a man she’s known for a few months? Well of course, why WOULDN’T SHE?
The next day was Becca’s visit, and we already know that this isn’t going to be her shining moment. She’s been unsure during this whole process and still can’t tell Chris that she’s willing to move to Iowa. So basically…she’s normal. How is she supposed to follow peppy Whitney with her bright flannel and optimism?
Prior to Becca’s visit, Chris warns his family about Becca’s lack of enthusiasm. I mean, the girl doesn’t stand a chance. Hey parents, the girl who is coming to meet you and possibly marry me doesn’t even love me, but no big deal, okay? Good grief, WHY IS SHE STILL ON THE SHOW.
Becca arrives and she hits it right off with the family, but obviously there’s the whole She Doesn’t Love Chris thing. It is also at this point that one of my friends points out that Becca doesn’t move her mouth or cheeks when she talks. Is she practicing to be a ventriloquist? I can’t focus on anything else now.
During a break, Chris Harrison tells us that he’s never seen a relationship still at this point this close to the end of the show. Gosh, you think? Also, I’ve noticed that this year, Chris isn’t interviewing past Bachelor couples during the break. WHY? I need to hear Sean and Catherine’s take on this situation!!
The next day, Chris and Becca have a date in her hotel room in Dubuque, Iowa. They spend the whole date kissing and arguing about why she doesn’t love him.
CHRIS — you are TWO DAYS AWAY from picking someone. She doesn’t love you. Give up the dream.
And…yep. That was Becca’s whole date. I swear, she gets the worst, shortest dates that exist. No wonder she doesn’t love him.
Next up is Whitney’s date. She meets Chris at his farm because as usual, Whitney gets to go places and do things on her dates. They ride a tractor and supposedly harvest corn, although I am not buying it. Chris — you are tricking zero percent of us.
Whitney, of course, has an absolute blast with the fake corn harvesting. I would pay real dollars to see her roll her eyes and tell him to meet her at the mall in Dubuque when he’s finished, but no. She’s insistent on keeping up this whole farmer’s wife charade.
They drive to Chris’ house and sip wine and kiss while she cries and talks about how much she loves him. Then they go to her hotel in Dubuque where they kiss and she cries and tells him how much she loves him. Oh…Becca. This is not looking good for you.
Finally…it’s time to get ready for the Rose Ceremony. We watch Chris gaze out the window, shirtless and pensive. The ladies wander the streets of Dubuque alone and forlorn while sad music plays in the background. Chris tells us that he still isn’t sure of what he’s going to do. Should he get married? Who should he choose?
Well, Chris…my offer is off the table and Becca doesn’t love you. I guess you should go for Whitney, if you’re into that peppy, talkative blonde thing?
Chris climbs the stairs of an old barn on his family property, where the rose ceremony will take place. All I can think is Oh HAIL no, are you really making the girls walk all those steps in heels? Not cool, fake farmer. Not cool.
I know from experience that the first girl out of the limo is getting the boot, and sure enough…it’s Becca, looking gorgeous in a burgundy velvet gown. Can we all agree that her fashion game is on point 100% of the time?
Becca climbs all the zillionty stairs, and Chris starts his speech. First the build up — you’re beautiful, you’re so wonderful to be around, we have something special…and then the BUT.
And here’s the thing — when the BUT comes, Becca is visibly RELIEVED. I’m wondering how scared she was that she’d have to turn down a proposal? She wishes him the best, tear-free and with a smile, and he walks her out to the limo. No limo crying cam today, friends. I do think she might have tried to squeeze out a tear for appropriateness, but it just wasn’t happening.
Next Whitney shows up, and she’s shivering. You can literally see her breath in that barn. WHERE IS THE HEATER. Geez, ABC. Really?
Of course, she can’t let Chris do all the talking, so she launches into her own speech before he has a chance to give his. Once she finally stops talking, he tells her that he loves her and proposes.
She accepts, and I sadly find myself getting sucked into the romance. I’m a sucker for a great proposal and fake farmer or not, Chris Soules looked mighty fine on one knee.
Seriously. Like maybe he could be an engagement ring proposal model? He does need a real job.
Next up is the Live After the Final Rose. Chris Soules comes out for his interview. They waste no time in bringing Becca out there, and Chris hugs her for what I feel is a little too long. She does look bangin’ in her fuschia lace dress though, and he’s only human. So what do you do.
Whatever awkward reunion ABC may have been hoping for didn’t happen. Becca didn’t love Chris and just doesn’t really care, other than to wish him the best. Moving on.
Finally Whitney comes out to join Chris, and of course, they are happy and madly in love, planning to get married and have lots and lots of babies. Whitney did reveal that she did not watch the season other than her own dates with Chris, which I actually think is a smart move. Anyone remember how angry Emily Maynard was with Brad Womack when they watched his season? Holy awkward After the Final Rose.
There’s a brief appearance by Jimmy Kimmel, who basically tells Whitney that she was chosen because Becca didn’t love Chris. Harsh truth.
We later learn that the new Bachelorette will not be Britt or Caitlyn but rather…both. Both women will be at the cocktail party and the men will choose which one they want to stay. I am EXTREMELY disappointed by this (but make no mistake — I’ll be watching) and just hope that Caitlyn is the one who makes it. I can’t watch Britt and her trembling lip all season. I just can’t.
So, ladies…what are your thoughts? Did Chris make the right choice? Do they have a real future together? And does Britt have a real chance at being the next Bachelorette? Let’s discuss, please.