You know how they say that necessity is the mother of all invention?
Well, I’ve decided to start my own school called The Center For People Who Need To Get Good At Being Adults In Charge of Children.
Obviously, I would be the first student. I have a lot to learn.
Right now, Google is the force behind most of my parenting skills, so I’m pretty sure I’m just a fake grown up.
Here are a few examples of the knowledge one would glean from attending my super educational school:
1. How to confidently and succinctly write an excuse note for your child’s absence from school.
I usually find myself over explaining (i.e., he had a really high fever and threw up twice, seriously, he didn’t eat for two days, not even Cheetos and those are his favorite) and skeptically examining my own signature, worried that it looks like a forgery.
2. How to think up good make-believe stories.
So far, I’ve taken credit for Goldilocks and the Three Bears, Hansel and Gretel, and recently, The Princess and the Pea (I was low on material). I have a feeling that I am only a couple of years away from having to explain to my son why we aren’t rich off of book royalties.
3. How to handle the annoying mom of the kid your son/daughter insists on inviting over for sleepovers and birthday parties.
Let’s be honest. All kids come with a parent. And sometimes that parent makes you want to punch yourself in the face.
4. How to be good at small talk.
In order to be a successful adult, mastering small talk is vital. School assemblies, church, birthday parties, and the grocery store are all hot beds for superficial conversation.The last time I tried small talk, I ended up reenacting child birth. Not one of my finer moments.
5. How to identify normal adult foods.
I’m pretty sure that being seen eating Fun Dip, Fruit Roll Ups, and those gummi Krabby Patties aren’t helping me gain a reputation as a mature and responsible mom.
Obviously, there are tons of other useful things you would learn at my school, but that’s just an example of some of the main ones. I’m still working out the details, but in the meantime, I can teach you something I DO know a lot about.
These brownies are topped with a peanut butter cookie dough topping (eggless–see how safe and mature I am?) and are so good you will want to die after you try one.
But don’t. I need you alive so you can keep reading my blog.
**adapted from Taste of Home Baking Classics
8×8 pan of brownies, baked and cooled (I used Ghirardelli Double Chocolate but you can use any homemade or boxed recipe you prefer)
1/4 stick salted butter, at room temperature
1/4 cup peanut butter
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
3 Tablespoons milk
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla
1 cup all purpose flour
Heaping 1/2 cup mini M&Ms
In the bowl of a mixer, beat butter and peanut butter until combined. Add sugars and mix until light and fluffy. Beat in milk and vanilla. Gradually add flour and mix until fully combined. Fold in M&M’s. Spoon cookie dough over brownies and spread carefully.
If you make a 9×13 pan of brownies, you may want to double the topping or it won’t be as thick.
I forgot to mention that admission to my new Center For People Who Need To Get Good At Being Adults In Charge of Children is $25,000 a semester.
I need lots of money for stuff like shoes, glitter, cookbooks and gummi Krabby Patties.
I hope you have a fabulous Monday! Thanks so much for stopping by!