I am SO ready for the weekend! Tuesday morning I’m hopping on a plane to meet my best friend Shelly in Charleston. No agenda, no obligations, just a few kid free days of spa treatments, shopping, eating, and sightseeing. I can’t WAIT!
Another thing I love? The trip is not sponsored, so I will Instagram WHAT I want, when I want.
This trip will mark the longest I’ve been away from Lucy Goose since she was born. Three and a half days away! I’m not the best at being away from my babies, but a rest is much needed and I am looking forward to it.
I am also looking for a change of scenery just to get a mental break from a lot of things on my mind. A few months ago I started seeking counseling for some past issues that I have NOT been dealing with. I go once a week for an hour, and it was a HUGE step for me, and not something I ever discuss with anyone other than my husband. When I thought about sharing the fact that I was in counseling here on my blog, I was torn between my discomfort with revealing personal struggles and my desire to urge those of you who have struggled with abuse to do the same.
The things that have been revealed to me during the course of my sessions (and by saying revealed to me, I really mean I revealed to myself — finally) made me look really hard at my previous outlook on my situation.
Do I still consider myself strong? Yes.
Do I still consider myself faithful to God’s plan for me? Yes.
Am I still looking ahead and trying not to let the actions of others define me? Yes.
There are scars. There is anger. And this is hard for me to accept because I don’t WANT SCARS AND ANGER. I want to forgive and be unaffected. I want to live my life in a way that seems as if it all never happened.
What I have realized, is that is impossible. I was changed and I was left with scars, and these scars affect the way I think and feel and react to people. Regardless of how I present myself on the outside, on the inside, parts of me were broken. Some of this I can fix, and some of it I have to accept.
Sometimes all I can do is say, “I cannot deal with this situation. It’s unfortunate, but it’s not my fault, and that is okay”.
Sometimes all we can do is be honest about who we are, and do the best we can with what we are given.
Talking about this (my feelings, in particular) makes me incredibly uncomfortable. But I want you to know, all of you who have called me strong and faithful and shared your own stories with me, stories that I hold close to my heart and guard and treasure as if they were my own, that sometimes I am weak. Sometimes I am not okay. And it’s okay if you are not always okay either. If you have never tried counseling, or have but feel the need again, I urge you to take the step. It’s been SO hard, but I also feel like I am finally unpacking and putting away all this baggage instead of lugging it around in secret.
Secrets are exhausting, aren’t they?
Now. Let’s talk about this week! I shared lots of yummy recipes and some fun reviews. Make-ups and books, does it get better?
How crazy adorable is this picture I took of Lucy sleeping? When I saw her cuddling all three of her Piglets, I couldn’t even stand it. I just died right there, then I resurrected myself and took a photo. My sweet girl!
Pudding Pop Milkshakes — it’s like drinking a Pudding Pop or four! So so good. Probably one of my favorite milkshakes of all time.
Can a drugstore foundation provide all day coverage? I’m reviewing Revlon ColorStay foundation HERE.
I am SO loving these Peanut Butter Marshmallow Bars! No bake, four ingredients, and they taste AMAZING. Does it get better? Well, maybe if you dunked it in chocolate…? Get the recipe HERE.
I recently bought the cutest cookbook and am having so much fun baking out of it! I’m sharing details and a full review HERE.
I am currently reading Book 4 of Stephen King’s Dark Tower series, and my husband and I are on Season 2 of Game of Thrones. Basically, I am completely immersing myself in nerd culture this Summer and loving EVERY bit of it. Oh Game of Thrones…you make my heart hurt in the best way.
I’m also loving Big Brother. OMG can we talk about Devin? Homeboy needs to choose a personality and stick with it.
What are you reading/watching/obsessing over? Have a great weekend!