There are two types of moms in the world: the moms whose kids scream and cry for toys and candy at Walmart and the moms who see the screaming kids and then look at their own kids quietly sitting in the cart and say “if you ever do that, you don’t even want to know what I will do to you, so help me”.
My kid is not a Walmart screamer, thank goodness, but rest assured that I’m not judging you if your kid is. There is a very good reason that my son doesn’t scream, cry, or beg at the store and it has nothing to do with an organic diet, strict discipline, or advice from a child psychologist.
This is how a trip to the store starts out:
My Son: “Mom, I’ll be really good in Walmart if you’ll promise to let me pick out a toy or an Xbox game”.
Seems harmless enough, but I have learned that this is basically just a thinly veiled threat. What he means is “Buy me a toy or you’ll really regret it”. I know that how I respond is of the utmost importance. A no, and he will pitch a fit. A yes, and I have officially handed all control over to my child. So…this is what follows:
Me: “No, but I’ll tell ya what. If you be good in Walmart, tomorrow when I drop you off at karate lessons I won’t tell your friends about how you pooped your pants and then ran around the house in a pink dress”.
My son: “Mom, that never happened,”
Me: “Yeah…says you….but trust me, my story is much better, so they will believe it. Kids love to laugh at poopy pants stories,”
My son: “But mom, that’s lying…”
Me: “Okay, but at least lying isn’t illegal, unlike blackmail, which is what you were trying to do to me. People get arrested for that, you know.”
My son: “But I didn’t know it was blackmail and besides, you did it back.”
Me: “Oh, that was self defense, it doesn’t count, sorry. Any decent lawyer would get me off the hook with that one. And I have a witness because I’m pretty sure the Greeter Lady heard you try to blackmail me first.”
My son: “Okay mom, listen. I’ll be good in Walmart, just don’t lie to my friends or call the cops on me…please mom, I mean it. “
My son is well behaved at the store because he doesn’t want to be a social outcast or go to prison. And listen, I already said I don’t judge you for your screaming kid, so don’t get all judgey on me right now either. It works, and at the same time teaches my kid a bit about our justice system.
Another win/win are these mini cheesecakes. Cheesecake batter is poured right into muffin cups, so there is no crust making or springform pan required. And because my son hates anything cheesecake…that means more for me.
From Juniors Cheesecakes
Two 8 oz packages cream cheese, at room temperature (use only full fat)
2/3 cup sugar
2 tablespoons cornstarch
1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract
2 large eggs
1/2 cup heavy or whipping cream
1 1/2/ tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
Preheat oven to 350. Line 12 standard muffin cups with silicone, foil, parchment, or paper liners.
Put one package of cream cheese, 1/3 cup of the sugar, and the cornstarch in a large bowl. Beat with an electric mixer on low until creamy, about 3 minutes, scraping down the bowl a few times. Blend in the remaining package of cream cheese. Increase the mixer speed to medium and beat in remaining 1/3 cup sugar and the vanilla. Blend in the eggs, one at a time, beating well after adding each one. Beat in the cream just until it’s completely blended. Be careful not to overmix. Transfer 3/4 cup of the batter to a small bowl and stir in the cocoa.
Divide the white batter among the 12 muffin cups. Drop a heaping teaspoon of the chocolate batter in the center of each, pushing it down slightly. Using a small knife, cut through the batter just until dark swirls appear.
Place the muffin tin in a large shallow pan and add hot water until it comes up about 1 inch up the sides of the tin. Bake the cakes until set and slightly puffy, about 45 minutes. Remove the cakes from the water bath, transfer the tin to a wire rack, and let cool for 2 hours. Cover the cakes with plastic wrap (don’t remove them from tin) and put in the freezer until cold, at least an hour.
To remove the cakes, lift them out with your hands and then peel off the liners.
Make these for yourself…you deserve them!!