Sometimes it’s embarrassing how desperate a toddler makes a person.
Because no one understands unless they HAVE a toddler. Even if you USED to have a toddler, it doesn’t count. You get amnesia.
Toddler amnesia is a very real thing. God makes it that way so we keep having kids.
Sometimes I play this game in my head where I think of all the things I’d do if I could get Lucy to stay still for just 30 minutes. When I was younger, 30 minutes used to be just long enough to blink, but now I can shower, apply make up, catch up on laundry and take a cat nap in 30 minutes.
The desperation thing is a good deal responsible for why I don’t answer my door and my husband isn’t allowed home in the day time. Friends, I stoop to pretty pitiful levels in order to get a moment’s peace. It’s true.
Lately, Lucy likes to play with a box of tampons.
I know. I said the word tampon. Sorry.
Is that even a bad word? I mean, they sell them at Walmart. I don’t know, let’s not make this awkward.
So, Lucy likes to get all the tampons out of the box, scatter them around and put them back in the box. I really don’t see the problem, especially if it allows me to blow dry my hair and get dinner going in the crock pot.
Wrapped tampons are okay to use as toys, right? Is there a rule about this? See, this is why being a mom is confusing. So many grey areas.
Even though there’s nothing TECHNICALLY wrong with this, you can see how it might get weird if my husband came home and there’s a trail of tampons down the hall and into the living room.
Most likely, there would be a pile of Goldfish crackers at the end of the trail. Those are my currency around here — tampons and Goldfish crackers. Mom of the year, obvi.
I know you’re probably thinking of finding a new friend now. That’s why I made you dessert.
Do dessert bribes work on you? Of course they do.
These Lemon Meringue Whoopie Pies are so much fun — I made my favorite lemon pie filling, my favorite marshmallow meringue, and sandwiched it between two soft graham cracker cookies.
- Lemon Pie Filling:
- 1 1/4 cups granulated sugar
- 4 Tablespoons cornstarch
- 2 cups water
- 3 large egg yolks, beaten
- 3 Tablespoons butter, cubed
- 1/3 cup lemon juice
- 2 teaspoons white vinegar
- 1 1/2 teaspoons lemon extract
- Graham Cookies:
- 1 cup graham cracker crumbs
- 1 1/4 cup all purpose flour
- 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
- 4 Tablespoons salted butter
- 4 Tablespoons vegetable shortening
- 1 cup light brown sugar
- 2 large eggs
- 1/2 cup buttermilk
- 2 Tablespoons milk
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 teaspoon white vinegar
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 3 large eggs whites
- 3/4 cup granulated sugar
- 1/2 teaspoon vanilla
- Prepare filling: In a large saucepan, combine sugar and cornstarch. Whisk in water until smooth. Cook over medium heat, stirring until thick and bubbly. Reduce heat to low, cooking and stirring for two more minutes. Remove pan from heat. Slowly add about a cup of the hot filling into your egg yolks. Whisk egg yolks and filling until combined, then add back to the pan of filling. Bring filling mixture back to a gentle boil over low heat, cooking and stirring for two minutes. Remove from heat and stir in butter until smooth. Add lemon juice, vinegar and lemon extract, stirring until combined. Pour filling into a bowl. Cover with plastic wrap, gently pushing plastic onto the surface of the filling to prevent a skin from forming. Let cool, then place in the refrigerator to chill until firm (I did this overnight).
- Prepare cookies: Preheat oven to 375. Line 2 large baking sheets with parchment paper.
- In a medium sized bowl, stir together graham cracker crumbs, flour and baking powder. In the bowl of your stand mixer, combine butter, shortening and brown sugar. Beat on medium speed for three minutes. Add the eggs and buttermilk, beating on medium until combined and scraping down the sides of the bowl as needed.
- Combine 2 Tablespoons milk, baking soda, and vinegar. Add the milk mixture and the flour mixture to the bowl and beat on low until combined. Add vanilla and beat the mixture on medium low for two minutes.
- Drop dough by Tablespoonfuls about 2 inches apart on sheets. Bake for about 9 minutes, until cookies are brown and firm in the center. Let cool on sheet for 5 minutes before removing to wire rack to cool completely.
- Prepare marshmallow meringue: In a metal mixing bowl, whisk together egg whites and sugar. Place the bowl over a pot of simmering water on the stove and whisk until a sugar dissolves and a syrupy mixture forms -- about 10 minutes. Place bowl on your stand mixer and add vanilla. Beat with the whisk attachment on high speed for about 10 minutes.
- Assemble cookies: Place a spoonful of lemon pie filling on the flat side of one cookie. Top with a spoonful of meringue, then another cookie.
Makes 2 dozen
Cookies adapted from Whoopie Pies by Sara Billingsley and Amy Treadwell Lemon Filling adapted from Taste of Home
How perfect are these for Summer? So much more fun than regular pie.
Enjoy and have a great day!