Hi Hat M&M Cookies don’t skimp on the frosting! Chewy M&M cookies plus a pile of chocolate coated buttercream — what more could you want from life?
Do you ever feel like one more night of the bedtimes might just do you in?
Obviously, I love my children. I often tiptoe into their rooms to watch them sleep and take long whiffs of their hair and count their freckles.
But this is when they are SLEEPING.
Quiet. Silent. Not moving.
Sometimes I think about how you can hire people to teach your kids how to read or play piano or throw a football or swim. You can hire people to babysit so you can go on a date or go to work. But why isn’t there a person you can hire to put your kids to bed? Surely this is a niche just begging to be filled?
Bedtime is not like the movies. Tonight Lucy refused to kiss her dad goodnight, and then insisted on counting all of her Shopkins before she would lay down. She has a lot of Shopkins. So many Shopkins. Who even invented Shopkins? I have so many questions. Like why does a hairdryer need eyes? And why does a hairdryer need eyes?
As she counted, I told her that not telling Daddy goodnight hurt his heart. And she calmly put her Shopkins down, looked me straight in the face and said, “HIMS NOT HAVE A HEART.”
Is she even human? What is happening?
“But his feelings are hurt,” I insisted. “He might even be crying. You should probably go give him a hug and tell him that you love him.”
Lucy shrugged as she arranged her Shopkins along the side of her pink princess toddler bed. “I’ll do it tomorrow,” she said.
Heartless, that’s what it is. I’m basically raising a baby robot demon.
Jon David has to be reminded to take a shower every night of his life. And every night, he tries to buy more time or negotiate his way out of it.
I might understand this if it was something that usually worked. But he has had to take a bath or shower every night for the last 11 1/2 years. That’s over 4,000 times of getting clean. You’d think that after 4,000-ish times, he would eventually make peace with the fact that being clean is just part of being a human, but no. Of course not.
I’m fully expecting to be begging him to take shower when he’s 23.
“Did you brush? Because I’m going to go check. That didn’t seem like two minutes to me. Come here and breath in my face, I don’t believe you.”
What even is this life? Lying to my toddler about her dad crying in the living room and making my son breathe his stank breath in my face to prove a point.
This is what bedtime is.
I’m telling you right now, I am ready and willing to pay money to make this whole problem disappear. I’d sit and munch on gummi bears and read People magazine while watching Lucy cry and beg for “TWO MORE MINUTES ON MY iPAD. TWO MORE!!” The bedtime worker person would tell her no and she’d look at me, devastated. “I NOT HAS A HEART,” I’d say, and go back to reading about Gwen and Blake while bedtime worker person wrangled her off to bed, handfuls of Shopkins dropping and creating a trail down the hall.
This is the kind of dream that gets me by.
That and…these cookies.
I have always been crazy about those cookie cakes they sell at the mall. The only problem being that it’s stressful trying to get the piece with the most frosting. Especially when it’s not YOUR birthday, but the birthday of a 5 year old friend of your child. People don’t take very kindly to you casually cutting into the center of the cake and stealing the piece with all the writing.
Not that I speak from experience, I just hear things.
These cookies are perfect because each has it’s own generous pile of frosting, coated in chocolate. The M&M cookies are my favorite recipe, chewy and buttery and basically perfect in every way.
Not to tell you your business, but you can’t live another day without these.
- 2 2/3 cups all-purpose flour
- 1 tsp baking soda
- 2 heaping TBS instant vanilla pudding mix
- 2 sticks salted butter, slightly softened
- 1/2 cup granulated sugar
- 1 cup brown sugar
- 3 tsp vanilla extract
- 2 large eggs
- 1 cup mini M&Ms
- 2/3 cup mini-chocolate chips
- 2 sticks (1 cup) salted butter, softened to room temperature
- 2 teaspoons vanilla
- 1/4 -1/3 cup heavy cream
- 4 cups powdered sugar
- Chocolate Coating:
- 2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
- 5 TBS vegetable oil
- Extra mini M&Ms for garnish
- In a medium bowl, combine flour, baking soda, and pudding mix. Set aside.
- In the bowl of your mixer, cream butter and both sugars on medium speed until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Mix in vanilla, then mix in eggs, one at a time, scraping the bowl after each. Slowly beat in flour mixture, scraping the sides of the bowl as needed. Stir in candy and chocolate chips. Cover bowl with foil and refrigerate dough several hours or overnight. When ready to prepare cookies, let dough sit out (covered) for about an hour, to soften slightly.
- Preheat oven to 350. Line baking sheets with parchment paper and set aside. Scoop cookies out with a medium cookie scoop, about 2 inches apart. Bake for roughly 9 minutes, until edges just barely start to turn golden brown. Remove from oven and let cool on baking sheets for 5 minutes before removing to wire rack to cool completely.
- Prepare frosting: In the bowl of your mixer, beat butter, vanilla, and heavy cream on medium-low speed until combined. With the mixer on low, slowly add powdered sugar until just barely beat in. Increase mixer speed to high and beat for one minute. Using a piping bag and large round tip (or a resealable sandwich bag with a corner snipped off), pipe a pile of frosting on each cooled cookie.
- Prepare chocolate coating: In a microwave-safe bowl, heat chocolate chips and vegetable oil, stopping to stir every 20 seconds until smooth. Let cool slightly, then carefully dip frosted cookies in the chocolate coating. Sprinkle with extra candies before chocolate sets.
Enjoy and have a happy Monday!