Hey. Hello. Hi.
I am okay!
I’ve been absent for a hot minute. And so many of you have checked on me! Please know that while I haven’t been responding to your messages, I have super appreciated knowing that you’re thinking about me. But I needed a break. From explaining myself and opening up my life to thousands of people, from being “on” and taking criticism from strangers and shaking it off.
From checking every form of social media every five minutes for years and years and years.
I needed some time. To be selfish and shut off from human interaction. To ugly cry and eat Cheetos and laugh with my kids and spend long, lazy days in bed snuggling them and watching Netflix and not worrying about the fact that I hadn’t posted to Instagram for a few days. To cook meals that WE want, and not worry about whether or not they are “internet worthy”.
To just live a life that is private and full of the things that I want to enjoy, not what others want to see.
I’ve been working at a job outside the home every day, and I’ve found happiness again in the routine of getting up and leaving the house and joining the world of people. And when I clock out and come home, I’m done. There are no pressing emails, no deadlines, no cake that my kids can’t eat because I haven’t photographed it yet.
My life right now is very simple, and I am very very happy with that.
Jess and I divorced. I could explain or make something up, or fill you in with some vague details, but the reality is…I don’t have to. None of us do. One thing this hiatus has taught me is that WE get to choose what we keep for ourselves. And we don’t have to feel guilty about that. And I don’t.
What I DO want you to know is that we’ve found new happiness in a friendship that is healthy and solid and loving. We parent well together, communicate well, and know when to walk away and let it go. Our kids see us both almost daily, and they’ve adjusted well to our new normal.
The truth is, I am very very proud of all of us. And I am incredibly thankful for a marriage that brought me two beautiful babies and a lifelong friend.
My heart hasn’t been in blogging for quite some time. And I’ve come to the conclusion that, at least for the immediate future, I am happy with my simple life of working a regular job and going home. Life is too short to spend it slogging away on a website that changed from a source of joy to a source of resentment. And like my marriage, I am thankful for the friends and experiences I got to take away. I’ve been incredibly lucky.
With that being said, the site isn’t going away. I happen to have a super sassy 6 year old who loves to cook and make cooking videos, and with the help of her daddy (and me), Lucy will regularly have content up on the blog. You’ll be hearing from me occasionally (and I’ll be resuming posting to instagram), but mostly this site will be for whatever projects we dream up with her.
I feel that is a great decision, and I am very happy about it.
Thank you for loving me, for checking on me, for being friends I never quite understood how I even deserved. I’ve taken some amazing trips, eaten some amazing food, and it’s all thanks to you.
I expect Lucy will make us all proud.