My seven year old son has trouble wrapping his mind around the fact that I am not going to grow anymore.
“Mom, when you get taller you won’t have to scootch the seat in the car up so close, won’t that be good?”
“Jon David, I haven’t grown taller since I was like nineteen. If anything, I’m getting shorter.”
“WHAT???? Mom you are so wrong. EVERYONE grows.”
I’ve gotten to the point where I just go along with his little charade. I allow myself to dream of all the things I will do and reach and see once I’m like 5’3″. Or dare I say….5’4″???
And I’ve decided that once I “grow up” and get super tall and important, I will need a new career. So I’ve been thinking it over and after a great deal of deliberation decided that I want to be Chris Hansen.
Yes, I’ve been watching To Catch a Predator reruns on cable.
I mean, I’m pretty sure that I have what it takes to do the job. I just need to grow like four feet taller because seriously that man is a giant. But I think that you have to be in order to confront weirdos and pervs. Unflinchingly laying out graphic photos sent by the perpetrator hardly has the same impact when it’s being done by a shortie short person.
And at the part of the conversation where the bad guy looks up and says “Am I getting arrested when I walk out that door?” instead of responding “It’s not up to me,” like Chris does, I would say “Actually, there are ninjas with throwing stars and flaming arrows aimed for the door, so if I were you, I’d be peeing my pants a little”.
So, yeah. I will be waiting for your call, Dateline. By my son’s predictions, I am only a few years off from the giant tallness I was destined for.
Until that time, I will continue to bake and be short, obvs.
It’s the cider-ey time of year so I decided that a cider cake needs to happen. This one is topped with cinnamon cream cheese frosting and an apple cider glaze. You can omit the glaze if you want, but I loved the extra boost of apple it added.
Box spice cake mix (I love Duncan Hines)
1 stick butter (1/2 cup), melted
1 cup apple cider (not the powdered kind you mix with hot water…real apple cider you buy in a jug please)
1/4 cup brown sugar
Grease and flour a 10x15x1 inch jellyroll pan (or line with parchment paper). Preheat oven to 350.
In the bowl of a mixer, beat cake mix, butter, cider, brown sugar and eggs on low for about a minute. Scrape sides of the bowl and increase speed to medium. Beat for about 2 more minutes. Spread evenly in pan and bake for 15-20 minutes or until cake springs back when lightly touched in the center. Remove cake from oven and place on a cooling rack. Once cake is cool, prepare frosting.
8 oz block cream cheese, softened
1 stick butter
2 cups powdered sugar
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon vanilla
In the bowl of a mixer, beat butter, cream cheese and vanilla on medium until smooth. Add powdered sugar and cinnamon. Beat on medium low until just combined. Increase speed to high and beat for about 2 minutes. Spread frosting on cake. Refrigerate until ready to serve.
Before serving, prepare glaze.
1/2 cup apple cider
1 cup powdered sugar
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
Whisk ingredients together in a small bowl. If you want thinner glaze, add a bit more cider. If you want it thicker, add a bit more powdered sugar. Spoon over slices of cake right before serving.
Since this cake has apple in it, it’s full of vitamins to help you grow.
Google it, if you don’t believe me.
Just kidding…please don’t Google it.
I hope you enjoy, it’s such a yummy cake!! Have a fabulous day!!