I have been getting emails. Apparently I scared some of you and for that, I am so sorry!
Yes, I have been posting less than usual. But I am fine! Figuring some things out, but totally fine and still hanging around on social media.
I have been blogging for 8 years. And I love it. Mostly, I love it because I love YOU! I never started blogging just to share recipes — I always craved real connections with women. I always craved honesty and laughter in a place that often feels fake and full of people who take themselves too seriously. And during the course of sharing my desserts and my stories — I found my people. YOU! And you have made it possible to make a career out of doing what I love, you’ve made be brave, and you’ve reminded me that I am not alone.
But of course, people change. Last year was a time of big change for me — I went through a major low point with my depression, struggled with being bored with my work, and realized it was time for some reevaluation. Time to change my medication, time to change what I was putting in my body, and time to take charge of my own physicality
I’ve run the gamut in regards to weight, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But the problem is, I’ve always been a helpless passenger in my own body. I’ve taken charge of almost every aspect in my life, but I’ve never once asked myself what I want my body to be able to DO. And so…I finally did. And what I realized is that I’m almost 40 and for just once in my life, I want to know what it’s like to feel physically STRONG. To look at my body and see muscles that I PUT THERE.
So that’s what I’m doing. And I’m really, really happy.
In addition to yoga, I’ve started training 5 hours a week at a gym. I do cardio, weights, all kinds of crazy jumping and squatting and sweating and it’s HARD. It’s time consuming and emotional and INCREDIBLE. I feel like a whole other world has opened up that I never imagined wanting to be a part of. My husband laughs all the time because six months ago, I wouldn’t step foot in a gym and now it’s my favorite place to be. I love the sense of encouragement, the sense of ACCOMPLISHMENT, and the hour a day where I don’t think about the kids or the house or sit in front of a computer.
And the body I’ve worked for is pretty okay, too.
Not too long into this whole deal, I realized that I was going to have to make some diet changes. And I REALLY didn’t want to. I love sugar and late night snacking, and food has always kinda been a whole thing for me. But I also knew that some of my eating habits were really holding me back from getting the results I wanted. And what is the point of putting in all the work to just come home and undo it all with crap?
So I started a new way of eating called “carb cycling”. Although I’d never heard of it, it’s relatively common in the fitness community, and is pretty simple to follow. Basically, you follow a pattern of eating that mostly eliminates dairy, sugar, and processed foods. Healthy carbs are consumed only on certain days and the rest of the days you eat lots of protein and veggies. Unlike Whole30, which I tried and could NOT do, I get stuff like oatmeal and rice every other day…and a cheat meal every week…which makes it doable long-term. I also eat small amounts of stuff like cheese and yogurt.
Ya know, just enough to keep me from going off the rails.
Not gonna lie — the nighttime candy cravings were SO REAL for awhile. But once I adjusted, I started feeling AMAZING. I lost 10 pounds in 3 weeks, tons of tummy bloat, and had way more energy than normal. At this point, I can’t imagine ever going back to my old way of eating. In no way do I judge ANYONE for how they eat — I still don’t eat perfect all of the time (especially on vacation), but knowing how good I feel when I eliminate excess carbs and crazy amounts of sugar, there is no reason for me to choose to feel bloated and sluggish again.
The problem with all of this is that it created a bit of creative crisis for me. Especially during my adjustment period, there was no way I could whip up desserts and act like my heart was in it. And I refuse to be a phony. But at the same time, I love what I do. And I love all of YOU! And the last thing I want to do is be that crazy person who decides to shove my new thing down your throats. Those people can be annoying. I get it.
So, I decided to take a break and think things over. I’ve stayed active on Instagram, sharing honest photos about where I am in life and what is going on. And I waited for people to get pissed off.
The opposite happened. I got more messages and comments than I’ve ever gotten! Women thanking me for encouraging them, for making them feel strong, for pushing them to do things that make them happy and feel brave. And I realized that during these 8 years, what I have built is so much more than a place for cakes. It’s a tribe of really amazing women who have always loved and encouraged me and allowed me to grow.
So here I am. Growing. And what I am hoping for is that you’ll let me invite you in to grow with me.
I started a Facebook group (feel free to join!) a few weeks ago for encouragement — not just for working out or dieting, but for trying new things and making time for ourselves! For signing up for a new class or taking a walk without the kids or shutting the damn door and taking a bath with a glass of wine. Because ultimately, I love being strong but other people love cake and dammit, I want you to have the cake if it brings you joy.
I want you to be your best self. And I want to cheer you on while you do it.
Sorry for scaring you. But I’m great, and I’ve been planning, and I’m ready to tackle the world and I want you HERE. FOR. IT.
What will the blog look like now? A little different. Hopefully good different.
I’ll be sharing meal plans every Saturday, but they’ll be a week’s worth (7 days) of CARB CYCLING meal plans. This means one day no carb, one day healthy carb, (breakfast, lunch, and dinner) etc, for a week, along with healthy snack options. These are not crazy meal plans and anyone should be able to get great ideas from them or tweak them to their liking. I’ll also include prep sheets for prepping every weekend so you can set yourself up for success. I’ve had SO many women ask me WHAT I eat and how to prep, and this will make it all a complete no-brainer.
(Keep in mind — I am NOT a nutritionist and there are lots of ways to carb cycle. But I am a normal, busy human with a picky family, like many of you. I do NOT track macros (wtf even are those?!) or go on crazy calorie restrictions. I eat real food and use sense. The end)
I’ll also post healthier recipes that I create! I have a picky bunch here and limited grocery store options, so none of it will be weird or difficult. I’ll still post life crap — the kids, beauty, whatever pops in my brain (WTF is going on with the world right now y’all? I can’t).
And of course, a weekly dessert because I’m not dead and cheat meals are a thing that are necessary to my survival. I STILL LOVE CAKE LIKE OPRAH LOVES BREAD.
Please don’t be worried. I feel great. And I think this is going to get really good.