Baby Update — 1 month
Since Lucy is a month old today, I thought I’d pop in with an update.
Can you believe a month already?
Well….I sorta can.
To be honest, it’s been a rough month. Lucy has brought so much love and joy into my life, and I absolutely LOVE holding my sweet baby, but it’s hard at times. She’s fussy, doesn’t sleep much, and wants to nurse almost constantly — it’s a comfort thing. She loves to be soothed.
A big part of me absolutely LOVES that she needs me so much…but the other part of me is completely drained. I live on little to no sleep — she doesn’t nap much, so napping while she naps is hardly ever an option, and there are times that I just resent anyone who is clean and gets even 6 hours of sleep at night.
I’m not saying this to complain but I’m saying it to be honest…because there have been days that I feel like I’m doing something wrong. Why does it look so easy for all the other moms? Why do all the moms look so cute and productive? Why can THEY get all this stuff done with a baby and I can’t?
WHY AREN’T I WINNING AT MOM-NESS??
The truth is, I’m not doing anything wrong. All babies are different, and raising them is hard on all of us. And I truly hope that in sharing an HONEST depiction of my days, I can reassure some of you who have or will one day have tough days too.
However — every rough day is worth it a million percent.
Lucy is starting to smile, and be more alert. I love watching her eyes follow me around the room as she tries to figure things out. And she’s so cute and snuggly, it’s hard NOT to hold her and love on her every second, even when I feel like I could fall asleep standing up.
We had a pediatrician appointment this morning, and unfortunately, they are concerned about her weight.
She has been gaining weight every week, but she is still in the 2% for her age…meaning she is smaller than 98% of one month old babies.
The doctor suspects that because she is nursing so often, she is not giving me enough time to replenish my supply. So we are going to work on recognizing when she’s actually EATING, and when she is just soothing, and also try to get her in a bassinet at night instead of the two of us sleeping on the couch all night with her latched on.
We will go back in two weeks to see how she has progressed and I have faith that we can get her feeding issues worked out. Some babies are just a little small, and that’s okay. Other than the weight issue, she is very healthy and they are happy with where she’s at.
Jon David is doing great.
He loves holding his sister and talking to her, I don’t have the heart to tell him she has no idea what he is talking about. But I’m so glad that he is bonding with her and loves her so much.
A huge part of me feels a lot of guilt that I can’t give him a lot of attention lately. But he is so good about it and so patient. I’m really thankful to have been blessed with such an understanding kid. I have a feeling he will be an excellent husband to someone someday.
With this post being an update on my kid, I feel like I should at least address the shooting in Connecticut last week.
Like you, it completely devastated me. All I could do was hold Lucy and cry for those parents, and those sweet babies. I think for me, the hardest thing was realizing that those poor kids had to die in fear, without their parents there to comfort them. As a mom, it would be extremely hard to accept that, and my heart truly breaks for those parents who have to sit and wonder about their children’s last moments.
There has been a lot of talk about what we should do — gun laws, more religion in schools, tougher laws, more security… honestly, I don’t even know where to start. And although some of that may help the situation, it doesn’t change the sorrow in the hearts of that community, and the families of those teachers and children. So I’m not going to pretend to have any answers.
Like you, it also made me hug my kids tighter and thank God for every moment with them. But I also know, that I am flawed. Raising kids is hard. There will be days this week, next week, next month, where I forget how lucky I am, and get snippy over a coat thrown on the floor or an unfinished dinner. It’s what happens, and it’s okay. It doesn’t mean I love my babies any less.
But what I DO know is this — I can catch myself, and look outside of those moments.
Yesterday, as Lucy was screaming, I scrambled to the kitchen to throw together a peanut butter sandwich. I was starving, unshowered, exhausted, and hadn’t eaten since hours earlier. I was planning on eating while I nursed her, and felt so tired and frustrated as I looked through the cupboard for the peanut butter. As I was looking, I noticed the meal I had thawing in the crockpot – I froze meals while I was pregnant so I wouldn’t have to cook right after the baby was born. In that moment, I thought about Lucy being an adult and having her own kids. I thought about how I’d go to her house and stock her freezer. I’d hold her baby so she could nap, I’d fold her laundry while she nursed, I’d drive her crazy with unsolicited advice… there are so many memories I have to look forward to, when I look outside of the tough parts.
Then I thought about all the parents who are in the toughest part of their lives, and all those unfulfilled moments are gone. They cannot look to grandbabies, and weddings, and college graduations to get them out of this tough time.
And then I counted my blessings.
So I don’t know. I’m not an expert.
But maybe the best way to honor those families is to recognize that we are human.
We have bad days.
We get mad at our kids sometimes.
But we can cherish the fact that we can look outside of that to a future we are blessed to still be able to imagine.
Again, thank you so much for all the kind words and emails and Facebook messages. I appreciate it so very much, and I hope you have a great Wednesday.
Thanks for visiting my blog! I realize you could be doing more important things with your time. Like watching the news or washing socks. I hope you stay awhile. Much more fun than socks, I promise. 
This blog has tips on how to increase your milk supply, thought it might help! http://www.naptimetales.com/2012/10/increasing-your-milk-supply.html#
She is beautiful… I wen through the same thing with my son.. he too used me as a human pacifier… have you pumped your milk to see how much you were making? Every baby is different and it does take a lil time to adjust to each other’s style. :O)
Aw, Kristan. This made me all teary eyed. You’re a good mama and I hope you get some rest and relaxation soon. Sweet little Lucy is totally worth it all, but I remember how hard it can be to remember that when you’re in the thick of it…sounds like you’re doing a dang good job of it though.
One of my favorite things about your blog is your honesty about the craziness of life. Hang in there. I know you’re doing a great job.
Wow. Thank you for that wonderful update. Not only do I love seeing pics and updates of Lucy (and Jon David too), I love hearing your take on mommy-hood. It’s really hard. It’s so, so very hard. How come nobody ever tells us this? For me, baby number 2 was the hardest. Shouldn’t it have been easier? I’ve done this before, right? But no. It’s a lot of work and we’re all so busy trying out super-mom each other that we forget to support one another and forget that it was hard for ALL of us (even the super-skinny, well-dressed, well-rested mom–but I still hate her! LOL).
I’m a mom of four (four kids in five years) and people always ask how I do it or how I keep it together and I say I’m doing the same thing we all are. I’m taking it one day at a time and I’m loving on my children. That’s all any of us can do. I rarely have it together, but I love them every single day.
Thank you again for this uplifting post. Even the sad part about our New Town angels. We’re moms and we need to stick together and help each other out.
Keep rocking on! Lucy and Jon David are loved. I’d say that means you are winning at mommy’ing.
Norma :)
What an awesome post. Your daughter is absolutely precious!
I don’t have my own kids, but I help take care of my boyfriend’s two girls. Your reflections are a lot like what we were thinking all weekend… that we are so looking forward to seeing them grow up, caring for them, and sharing our lives with them. We’re charged with raising children, however long we have them.
The truth shall set us free. I love the honesty. Sounds like really everything is as it should be. My babies (all 3 of them) hardly slept, nursed constantly and (this part I shouldn’t tell you) didn’t sleep through the night really until… Well my youngest is 4 now, and I’m still up with her for one reason or another (nighmares, sleep walking, needing to go to the bathroom etc) once or twice most nights. Like you I wouldn’t ever not have the kids, they are worth it. I guess I can sleep when they are grown and out of the house.
Seems weird to leave breastfeeding advice on a baking blog haha, but also don’t forget to let her empty each breast so she gets the hind milk where all the yummy, weight gaining fat is.
I love how honest you are, even about having a baby. So many blogs make it look so effortless to have a newborn and toddlers or kids, and it made me feel like a pile of poop. I can totally relate to your experience – I spent the first three months’ of both my boys’ lives on the couch with them, unshowered and getting not a single thing done. But boy, did I enjoy my time with them. So the house was dirty and the food intake wasn’t overly healthy – we survived. Good luck in the coming months, and I’m sure Lucy will pack on the pounds soon enough!
Also, SHE’S FREAKING ADORABLE!
You have such a beautiful daughter, and a beautiful outlook as well. This is honestly one of my favorite posts that you’ve written – so honest, and SO true. Thanks for your Wednesday words, Kristan. I hope you get some sleep and I hope you know that you and your blog makes people’s days!
Such a beautiful post…my sentiments exactly! The first 3-4 months were the absolute hardest for me-diminished milk supply, husband gone overseas for duty & living in a new town w/no family or friends…talk about serious baby blues!! But, as they say, this too shall pass & it did. You’re an awesome mommy & such a compassionate caring person, but you’re also human. It’s easy to get down but just keep thinking of those good times ahead :) Merry Christmas to you & your family!
such a moving post. thank you for sharing your thoughts!
What a sweet sweet post. Thanks for being so honest about the hard days, and yet you still have a positive attitude. Very inspiring. And Lucy is absolutely adorable!
I can’t thank you enough for this post. Not only were thoughts about CT beautifully written, but your honesty about motherhood is refreshing. I’m not a mother though I know I want to be someday. And quite frankly, it TERRIFIES me. I feel like there’s so much left unsaid. Blogs like this help.
My parent’s have always said that I was a ‘difficult’ baby. I didn’t sleep much and I cried a lot. They took me to the doctor many times and kept telling the doctor that something was wrong because I would never sleep. The doctor told my parents that was a sign of an extremely intelligent child…..my dad proceeded to tell him, “Ok, but if we don’t get some sleep she is going to be raised by babbling idiots!”
I don’t know if the intelligent thing is true or not, but I like to think it was!!
Thank you for not being perfect, and for being honest about it. I’m pregnant with my first, and the thought that I have no clue what I am in for scares me, but I can’t wait to muddle my way through it.
Take it one step at a time, as long as you do everything with love, you’re doing it right.
Thanks for a great post. You are such a gifted writer. I appreciate your honesty too. I’m pregnant with my 2nd child and I remember the first month after my 3 year old was born was a nightmare. I remember thinking, “Why am I not enjoying motherhood the way I should be.” Truth is that while I wasn’t enjoying the sleepless nights or pumping (she wouldn’t latch) or crying or whatever, I was absolutely enjoying my little girl. That’s what matters. And it does get easier. Feels like it won’t but it does.
Your thoughts on Newtown are spot on too. I could care less about gun laws and whose fault it is and what the gunman was thinking. I just feel for those poor little ones and their families. My daughter was sick and scared last night and it was a privledge to hold her tight and comfort her. I know those CT parents are aching for the chance to do just that.
Have a very Merry Christmas and thanks for your blog – it’s one of my favs!
I’m not a mother yet, but having such a close bond with my mom, this made me tear up. Your children are so lucky to have someone as warmhearted and loving as you. You are clearly very adoring of them, and your honesty is inspiring. We all definitely need to count our blessings and it seems you are doing a fabulous job at that! :) Thank you for this post!
Oh how vividly I remember those first few months when it’s literally all about survival!! I remember being so tired I went to the store with my pants on backwards… Like maternity jeans-obviously-on-backwards backwards. Couldn’t figure out why people were staring til I got home and my husband started laughing hysterically.
Thanks for being honest and poignant and funny, and I’ll be sending up a little prayer that Lucy starts chunking up soon… While taking a nice long nap!!!
well, maybe it’s not a good piece of advice, but seeing it two years after the birth of my son, (I was a mom who lived the first moth with the curtains closed and hating visits so much) it would have been really healthier for me and my baby to give him a good bottle of formula. I insisted, tried, cried, pumped myself alone in the bathroom for 30 or 40 mins, and the baby kept gaining little weight. I hated friends who fed their babies so easily… to see his face after he had his first bottle gave me a feeling I will never forget… HE WAS HUNGRY! and I felt so frustrated, because the whole pregnancy everybody totured me with how healthy it is to breast feed your baby…. it was not my case, I was tired, in pain, bleeding and others…
just to let you know that there are many of us who suffer these days… fortunately, they pass, and the more it passes, the more you thank yourself for getting into all of this!
:)
Martina
I actually see nothing wrong with formula…Jon David wouldn’t nurse, he was starving, so he ended up being a formula baby, and he was always perfectly healthy and is a well adjusted, intelligent child ;)
I’ve tried supplementing with a formula bottle before bed. Some days Lucy will drink it, some days she wants nothing to do with it. The pediatrician thinks that because she smells me, she is holding out!! Crazy little stinker!!
Wow Kristan, beautifuly put!
I hope things will get a little easier soon with a normal amount of sleep.
yes it can be difficult at times, especially when you have another small child to take care of. all i can tell you is: take her with you everywhere. let her sleep next to your bed and if she is crying at night, just wisper to her. if you need to take a shower, take her to the bathroom with you and let her watch. go for long walks outside, carry her…things will get much better and she’ll feel more comfortable and cry less…
This was a good/bad post for me to read mere hours before I head to the hospital to get induced. Sorry that things have been bumpy but it seems like you are doing a good job on focusing on the positives and the blessings. Hang in there! As you know, it gets better. :) xo!
Oh girl…good luck!!
You’ll do great!! I was induced also, and it went wonderfully…such a great experience. And kids are hard, but isn’t anything rewarding??
I’ll be thinking about you!!
She is just adorable, and I’m glad your son is so great, too! Beautiful words about the tragedy in Connecticut. I hope you get some extra sleep soon! :-)
Oh my gosh If I loved close to you I would offer my days to you as you have given so much to me..and I really need some grand babies but no-one is in a hurry to bless me with them. My children are 27, 26 and 24 ..Those first years where hard, then throw in the mix of raising 2 of my nephews too ages 26 and 22 and I had total chaos in the house I don’t know how my husband got to work with clean clothes. but as I look back now it was some of the best time of my life. Yes I wanted to have an adult conservation and a good home cook meal, maybe even a clean house and a shower would have been nice and sleep too, I hope that when my kids are blessed with babies that they enjoy all of the good, bad and ugly of the first years, because there are no do overs. Enjoy the craziness of a brand new gift in your home, you and yer husband have raised an awesome young man, and you are there for him with your smile, a hug or the words I love you and no one can take that away from him… Thank you for sharing
I love this post and how honest you are. Many will love this post because you`re being honest. I love reading these post and learning about all of this stuff. I`m far away from getting pregnant, but it`s still very interesting for me to read. :)
I hope you`ll get some rest soon and Lucy will gain some more weight. ^_^
She is so precious! Much love to you guys!
Dearest Kristan — You posts are WONDERFUL because you are honest. Here’s my completely unasked for advice — sorry, I can’t stop myself. Forgive me but I’m 69 years old and when one gets old, well, we think we know a little. Put Lucy on the bottle. I nursed my son. He gained 3 oz. before we left the hospital. The nurses clapped and cheered, my doctor wanted to know “how I did it”. (I expressed the colestrum (sp.?) twice daily for three months prior to his birth.) That was in 1968 when women stayed in the hospital for FIVE days after giving birth. He slept 6 hours a night by one week old. Yes. I was SUPER LUCKY. I recently talked to a young woman whose darling daughter is now 1 year old. She tried to nurse for four months. Her poor sweet-heart lost one pound (from 6#5oz. to 5#5 oz.) in four months, cried constantly. Neither she nor her daughter or boy friend slept for four months. By the time she finally caved in and switched to a bottle she was an inch away to physical and mental collapse. Some women for whatever reason can’t nurse. SO WHAT? It’s 2012, bottles and formulas are as near perfect as science can make. My ex-husband — who was born in 1938 when doctors insisted “bottle was best” was bottle fed. Guess what? He was 6’5″ tall by age 18, had a high I.Q. and graduated from college. Keep us updated. Love the pictures of your little angel.
I too have wept with the entire nation over the horrific events in Newtown, Conn. God grant our nation a way to stop this epidemic of mass murders. No other nation in the world has this happen to their sons and daughters, fathers, mothers, teachers, congress members. But. They don’t sell automatic assault weapons to their citizens, either. Why do we?
She is beautiful!!!
I feel your pain!! We have the opposite problem with the same result!! My not so little guy is 2 months old and is the average size of a 6 month old in height and weight. Problem is he can’t eat solid food like a six month old to keep him full, so he wants to nurse every two hours still. I am EXHAUSTED!!
I hope you find something that works for you soon. It is a shame you just can’t feed her some of your yummy treats to fatten her right up!!
Oh no Lorie!! It is definitely exhausting…it really ties you to the house!!!
I hope things get better soon!!
Thank you is much for writing such an honest post. I think that it’s so hard to have a newborn (albeit wonderful) and it’s important for us to normalize how hard it is and not pretend otherwise! It sounds like you’re doing great even though it’s hard. Will be thinking about you and wishing you all the best.
Precious post! It’s reality of life with a new born! Bless you, momma! I also had a REALLY ROUGH first 3 months with my little girl (now 2). A friend recommended these DVDs to me..SAVED MY LIFE! You may be familiar with Dunstan Baby Language…seriously AMAZING.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgkZf6jVdVg
lucy is the cutest little punkinhead ever, well except for my two punkinheads (17 & 19 now). my son was the opposite he just didn’t care to eat the first few months he would sleep through the night and lost weight too, we subsidized him with formula and he did much better. she will get the hang of it.
Oh, Kristan! Thanks for sharing. I love your honesty. You make me feel at ease about being a mom some day. You’re so good at it!
And seriously, little Lucy is so sweet and cute! I want to squeeze her little feet in those tights :)
Hey Kristan — hang in there! My third baby just turned 6 months. Looking back I can see for each one that 6 weeks really was a turning point. Up until then it was pure survival mode. Once the babe starts smiling more, you get a few more hours of sleep in, your hormones settle down — well you start to feel human again :) I had a lot of milk supply problems/lack of weight gain with my first two. My (hopefully helpful and encouraging) advice is to relax. I felt so guilty and emotional that I was not able to give my babies everything they needed. If you and your husband are up to it, I would suggest having your husband give sweet little Lucy some formula in a bottle for one of the night time feedings so that you can get a good stretch of rest. She won’t have nipple confusion and you’ll all be so much better for it in the morning. Love your site, love your thoughtful words and praying good things for your family!
Melissa
Welcome to conversations about hind milk! Ugg! Lucy is so beautiful. She will grow and gain weight just fine. Hang in there! By the way, after having 3 babies, I can tell you that all the mothers out there who look like or say that they have it all together are lying. That is truth!
Ah, how I remember those nights when I thought I’d never get a full night of sleep again. You have a sweet baby. hang in there. I did wonder if you’d ever heard of the book called “Baby Wise.” I haven’t read it myself but my daughter used it when she had her son, and it really helped her, to get him on a schedule, and to sleep through the night. She just had a little girl two weeks ago and plans to use the same methods, although (please don’t hate me for this!) she’s so content she’ll sleep 3-4 hours at a stretch, and she’ll have to wake her up so that she’ll get her feeding. Babies are so sweet and loveable, even if they do demand alot!
You remind me so much of myself 2.5 years ago… my first baby was *perfect*. I was clearly SUCH a good mum, and doing such a good job, since I had all kinds of time to shower and felt so rested. Yay for me! So we got pregnant by her first birthday, and I knew I could just pop this one out, and carry on as usual, since that’s how I make babies.
HA!
Josie came out screaming. And screaming. And looking for food. They literally had to hold her back while I was being stitched off, because she was already rooting. Silly me thought it was cool that she had a perfect latch instantly. It was a sign of things to come… I remember at her one month appointment, pleading with my doctor for the trick to get her to sleep… particularly at night. I was dealing with a newborn and a not-yet-2 year old, and NO SLEEP. He said “Don’t worry, she’ll turn around in a couple of weeks”. She did.. but that only meant I was getting up four times instead of being up the entire night. And she was the same as Lucy – CONSTANTLY feeding. The first night home from the hospital she was up from 10pm until 6am… after 3 hours and raw nipples, I finally shoved a soother in there, not worrying at all about nipple confusion. There were many nights of sobbing, yelling (yes, at my newborn), and wondering what the heck I had done… But my husband reminded me that it was all temporary. Sleep deprivation is an evil all its own…
I didn’t get a full night’s sleep until we left them for a sleepover at Grandma’s – though I still had to pump, so that broke it up for me!
She didn’t start sleeping through the night until she was 9 months old, and I remember feeling like a zombie the entire time. And I knew for sure I never wanted another baby to keep me awake at night!
I can promise you that you’ll blink, and she’ll be two… Josie is growing even faster than her big sister, if that’s even possible. For all the times I was so OVER having a baby, it felt like a split second compared to everything else since.
I know you know all of that, but sometimes I think it’s good to hear that others have been through what you’re going through, so I just wanted to try and encourage you! She’s so beautiful, and you’re so honest about everything, this was a really lovely post. I will cross my fingers that you get some sleep SOON! <3
I’m so sorry you have to go through all of this, I know it’s exhausting. My kids are 23 and 26 now and I can still remember how tired and crabby I felt not to mention dirty. I think that was from lack of sleep and nursing.
My son was up a lot as well and clinged to me which while I loved it gave me no time for myself. When my daughter came around I decided not to breast feed her. She slept through the night and was the model baby. I’m not saying you should do that but she was completely nourished, didn’t get sick like I’d heard if you don’t breast feed them and I got a good night sleep and wasn’t fussy.
I also had someone come in 2-3 times a week for about 4 hours to watch her while I was still at home but able to shower and get things done that I needed to around the house plus I had someone come to clean my house weekly which I never got rid of.
As moms we think we are less of a person sometimes if we can’t do it all but let’s face it, our husbands go to work, some have offices to themselves with moments of peace and quiet, get to eat lunch and chat with others without having to snort their food down and get to go to the bathroom alone without someone watching them or whining at them. So give yourself some relief without the guilt and if its in the budget hire someone to assist you during the day while your son is at school. It will be the best money you’ve ever spent and your husband and son will see the difference, you’ll feel better and little Lucy will too. You owe it to yourself – you’re worth it!
Just my 2 cents worth.
I know it can be a bit worrisome when your baby sleeps little and is in the bottomw 2 percentile of weight for their age – and your lack of sleep and exhaustion only compounds that worry. My grandson was born 8 months ago – his mom and dad (my daughter) are walking zombies but luckily both Rocket’s (that is his nickname)grandparents, most of his great-grandparents, and all his aunts live within 20 miles of them. We all take monthly turns having him overnight one night on the weekend so the parents can get some sleep. He sleeps about 4 hours per night – if he takes a nap, then he sleeps less at night. He now eats 2 jars of food per meal – and he is STILL in the bottom 2 percentile weight of his age and has been since he was born. He still needs to gain 3 ounces in order to make it to 15 pounds. He’s not interested in crawling at all – or walking for that matter – he’s trying to teach himself to run I think, hence the nickname Rocket. His physician says he is perfectly healthy but he is extremely active and has an envy-able metabolism. Of course he is always hot and feels as if he has a fever. Dr. says he should be in an martial arts and other athletic program as soon as he’s old enough so he can expend all that energy——SO, your daughter may get her schedule straightened out, or she may need a baby athletic program! :) Best wishes to you as you attempt to get sleep. Reach out to friends and family and allow them to help!!
Thank you for this lovely and honest update and for the pictures of Lucy.
Bellissima bambina, complimenti! Mamma come corre il tempo, sembra impossibile che sia passato già un mese!
Loved this post. Lucy is precious and so is Jon David. You are a great mama. Keep remembering you aren’t supermom. My kids ended up eating many a hotdog, fish stick and boxed mac & cheese. They turned out just fine. I wish I lived close..I would love to sit and sooth Lucy so you could have some me time. I miss babies. My children are 27 and 35 and no grand babies yet. There were many times I was right where you are and I know what you are talking about when you say how worth it that it is. Praying you can get some much needed rest and that Lucy starts gaining weight like a little butterball. Merry Christmas to you all.
A faithful reader in middle Georgia.
You sound like an exceptional young woman and a wonderful mother. Things will get better, but sometimes it seems like the exhausting days will never end. I had to get a baby carrier and strap my daughter to my chest. Running the vacuum seemed to calm her, but every baby is different. Your son sounds like a very special boy-telling him how much you appreciate and love him will go a long way, as I’m sure you know. Good luck and Happy Holidays.
Thank you so much for this post…it is so courageous of you to be open and honest about what new-baby life is like. I can’t relate, not having kids, but it sounds to me like you are doing a great job! As for your comments about the shooting, I agree it’s so hard to know what to do or say when we are all feeling the loss and can’t imagine what the parents/families are experiencing. I’ve just come to the conclusion (driven home by Christmas coming up) that there is no hope apart from Jesus, no safety apart from Jesus, and that this sort of event is one of the reasons he came for us. He loves those kids more than anyone else in the world, and WE couldn’t hurt if HE didn’t. “Now we need not fear the grave: peace, peace! Jesus Christ was born to save!”
Beautiful beautiful post. Lucy is adorable.
What a sweet, gorgeous baby <3
What a gorgeous baby!!!! My son was latched 24/7 and he was in the 99%, one of my best friends had a little girl latched 24/7 and she was also tiny, under 5% like yours. They really have no clue except that chart they’re looking at, especially when they compare them to babies that get formula and cereal in their formula. Or cereal in their breastmilk in a bottle. She looks absolutely perfect!
Hi precious Lucy! I want to squeeze you!
I want one.
What a wonderful loving mother you are. Your children are truly blessed. I wish you some sleep and a happy and healthy new year for you and your family.
That was beautiful, Kristen. I too often forget that I am human. It brought tears in my eyes to read what you read about the school shootings. I cannot imagine what those parents are going through. Hang in there with that sweet baby of yours. She is such a blessing.
Hey Mama, big congratulations on little Lucy! She’s beautiful. I know what you are going through with regard to sleep and hygiene and proper eating. Sooo been there and more than once. At some point you both will reach some synchronicity and things will normal out and this time will be forgotten (until you use it to guilt her). I hope, for your benefit that it is sooner than later. I know how crazy-making it can be and how it starts to make you feel like you should lose your mother badge. It’ll all be oh-kizzay. Something my twin sister told me after I had my first baby (and she didn’t even have kids yet) was to think to myself that somewhere in the world at that exact moment another mom was doing the exact same thing and feeling the exact same way. And man did that help and did I ever send love vibes to that other Mommy or Mommies. Wishing you the best! Take care!
P.S. Just realized that Lucy was born on my daughter Kestrel’s tenth birthday! Yay! Give it up for the 19th!
Kristan, Lucy is beautiful! Both of my daughters were comfort nursers. I became their human pacifier. The first couple of months were the hardest, but I know you will figure it out. We all do at some point. However, even though my baby is now 2, I am still resentful of the full night’s sleep my husband gets, or the fact that he gets a shower. My husband works most weekends, so a good day on the weekend is one when I can shower!
Hang in there and enjoy snuggling that sweet baby!
Your daughter is just beautiful! My daughter was always in the 5% percentile growing up , always small and now 25 years later she is still tiny and petite and very healthy. I appreciate all that you share and look forward to your recipes and funny and honest posts.. .Merry Christmas!
She is so sweet…the first photo she looks just like her big brother! JUST LIKE HIM…
As the Doc said as long as she is still gaining she may be a little -peite girl…I have a grand like that…he two bros and little sister are all bigger than her…she is fine even after all the worrying and Dr’s saying how under weight and small she was/is—someone in our family must have been small–sure didn’t come from any of the recent members!!
Merry Christmas and try to rest when ever you can
Beautiful baby girl … and beautiful Sandy Hook message! All we can is our best each and every day, and know that things will get easier (or at least a different difficult haha).
I also want to recommend buying a Zolowear sling and some Boob nursing shirts. With this two things, you can nurse in public all the time and no one can tell. The right equipment can really make a difference!
Hang in there! I have a 5 month old and can totally relate to what you are going through. Well except for the underweight part, my baby’s about as chunky as they come. With both of my kids, 2 months was a turning point. They started sleeping a good chunk of time at night and I started feeling human again. Hang in there! It will get better soon!
I love your blog by the way. You have kept me entertained and inspired during 3 am feedings :)
Thank you!
I think this was a super post – telling the truth as it is!! :) My husband and I often joke that if our 2nd child had been our 1st – we would have only had one! (And yet – we ended up with 3 – ha!)
What a beautiful post, Kristan. I’m still so heart-broken over Newtown. You put into words what so many of us are thinking. I love the image of you making and freezing meals for Lucy when she has a newborn.
If I could send you some of my sleep, I would. Are you so tired of people telling you their breast-feeding stories? No? Oh good, then. Here’s mine. ;) I just could not produce enough…even for a not-quite-3-pound preemie. I tried taking brewer’s yeast supplements, etc. etc. Then, a nurse told me to drink milkshakes. Girl…I was at Sonic about every 20-minutes. Almost 14 years ago, and I still remember they had a limited edition cappuccino shake. Did not help with the breastfeeding at all, but I gained back whatever little weight I had lost from childbirth. ;)
Lucy is so lovely and so fashionable!
I just wanted to take a moment to tell you how touched I was by this beautiful post. Lucy is adorable! I especially liked the picture of her yawning! Your comments about parenting and the tragedy in Connecticut were so honest and heart-felt that they brought tears to my eyes.
This was such a beautiful post, and I thank you for reminding me that I am so very lucky to have two healthy boys who are the light of my life. I also get frustrated sometimes. Like when we are trying to get out the door so I can get to work on time after dropping them off at school. Seriously, are they TRYING to make me late? Old and grey before my time? Nope, just little boys. Your words are a needed reminder that I should be grateful that I have the opportunity for moments like that, even when it hard to recognize it IN that moment.
Can’t wait for your next post- they always make my day.
So I’ve never commented on here but I just HAD to today! Lucy is just stunning. I want to pick her up and snuggle her thorough the computer!!
My daughter was born Aug 26th and is in the 5th % for her weight. I looked up the CDC growth charts for BREASTFED babies which can be different from what your doctor is using and that could make a difference. Check out this link for more info;
http://kellymom.com/health/growth/growthcharts/
Also that website in general is FABULOUS for all information you could ever need when it comes to breastfeeding.
I also just had to thank you for writing about how horrible the first few weeks are. You love your baby, but man you just want a shower, and a real meal eaten at a table like a normal person. Sleeping for longer than an hour at a time would also be a big bonus. I cried sooo much not because I wasn’t happy but because it was just soooo hard and everyone else made it look soooo easy and I thought I was a huge failure. In the middle of the night I would cry and think ‘maybe I should give her to someone who will be able to take care of her better’. We survived but I think more momma’s need to speak up about those first few weeks. Harper didn’t sleep either (8 hours TOTAL in a 24 hour period one day!). We adapted the eat, play, sleep model with NO time limits. Setting a time limit on nursing can be detrimental to your supply. But if you nurse, play, put her down for a nap, feed her again when she wakes up that could help. That has gotten us quite a bit more sleep. So basically it’s like Babywise and Baby Whisperer combined without any of the insane requiring your baby to WAIT to eat. Also we LOVE the halo swaddling blankets….if Harper isn’t swaddle ain’t nobody in our house sleeping! I dread the day she’s too big for the swaddle blanket! Make that a tight baby burrito!
I am also a hermit. Having a baby has made me even more of a hermit. Don’t people realize how awful it is to go anywhere with a baby?? We are heading into some traveling OVERNIGHT and I’m dreading it. Can’t we just stay home in our pjs and eat Chinese takeout the entire Christmas holiday??
And the whole shower thing….since I got used to not showering everyday I whine if I have to shower and ‘get ready’ every day in a week! I would have NEVER done that pre-baby but now I’m like ‘whatever my hair still looks somewhat clean and I put on clean underwear…I’m good’.
I love your blog and I hope you made it through my incredibly rambly post!!!
Thank you for showing us the beautiful pictures of your adorable daughter. You are going to have a blessed Christmas with the most precious Christmas present of all. Linda
My daughter was such and easy baby slept through th night, not a picky eater even potty training was a breeze had no idea why people complained how hard it was. Then I had our son complete opposite Lord, help me he is almost 4 and he still doesn’t sleep through the night during the day he’s bouncying off the walls an rarely if ever takes a nap. Although the potty training was easy, there are no date nights for my husband and me, no peaceful meals (not one), and quiet is just a vague memory, I think some kids are just easier than others, but we love them. Hope you get some sleep soon!
Thank you for being so honest about how hard having a baby can be! I have two and it is rough. I remember many many many moms sharing (bragging) about how their babies slept through the night and never cried while I was in the middle of sleeping two hours a night with my first baby who cried non-stop and had colic. I thought at the time that surely I wasn’t the only one with a baby that didn’t sleep or maybe I was and I was just a horrible mom! I so appreciate you sharing honestly! If we could all do that instead of trying to one-up each other and be the best mom, it might change the world. So thank you for that! Also, look at Jon David–there is a light at the end of the tunnel! That’s what I tell myself now with my youngest. At least I can look at her older sister and say, “they do grow out of this eventually! I know it!” And I can enjoy the good moments without getting bogged down by the bad. That is so easy to do when you feel like you are the only one going through what you are going through.
Also, I am with you on just appreciating what I have with my kids. I have no answers and cannot do anything but grieve with those who have lost. I can, however, love my babies and make as many memories with them as I can while I have them with me.
Such a beautiful post! I laughed when I read “instead of the two of us sleeping on the couch all night with her latched on.” That’s totally how it was for my son and me for the first month of his life. I was up almost every hour of the night with him…and my husband was in grad school, so he got to sleep uninterrupted in bed. Sigh. My little guy finally started sleeping through the night when he was 11 months….and now he sleeps for 12 hours straight! It is pure bliss! So hang on during this wild ride of having a newborn! You are a wonderful mother, and things will ease up soon!
Thanks for your real words! I am one of those ladies who lives in fear of being a mom because I am pretty sure it won’t be as easy as some make it look!! Reminding us we are all human is always a good lesson to hear and you are right, honoring the families by living your life with gratitude is the best thing we can all do.
Merry Christmas to you and yours!
xo
Dang, I am not used to come here and getting teary eyed!
Lucy is gorgeous! My son was a tough baby as well. He was not a good sleeper, would only nap for 30-45 minutes at a time. It is tough. But he is 7 now, and I am still here :) Thinking of you, and wishing you the best!
Lucy is so sweet looking…what a darling little girl she is. You and your family are so blessed…with time things will get better but of course you know this. Just keep the faith.
I love the picture of Lucy giving a great big yawn!!!!!
Keep sending the updates nd gorgeous pictures.
That is one beautiful baby =)
I think all mom’s get some kind of ‘mom amnesia’ and once things smooth out, we forget about the rough days/months/years! So you’ll get there too! To me, it always seems like once I reach my breaking point (or just about), things turn around.
Hang in there! She’s beautiful!
Lucy is beautiful. You wrote such a beautiful, touching and honest post. I wish you and your wonderful family a warm, safe and blessed Christmas. Thank you for all you that have shared with us this past year. May the coming year be good to you all.
I went through a similar time with my one and only bundle of joy. It seemed as though I got little to no sleep and she was starving for the first three months of her life. It turned out that I produced too much foremilk and not enough hindmilk. She wasn’t getting enough nourishment. I wanted so badly to breastfeed her (to the point of saying I woul dnever give my baby formula) and had planned to do so for at least the first 12 months but in the end, something had to give. We tried formula and within 2 days of formula she was sleeping through the night. I promised myself then to never say never again!
This is such a good way to talk about maternity ! Thanks for sharing it’s always good to realize we are not the only ” not perfect” mom !
I don’t have time to read through all the comments and I’m sure someone else has mentioned it, but get a sling if you don’t have one already. They can be tricky to get the hang of but there’s lots of helpful youtube videos on how to use them. She’ll feel like she’s in your arms but you’ll have both hands free and if you Nuk her while she’s in there she’ll have the sucking comfort she’s looking for as well.
I co-slept with all 4 of my kids while they were nursing. I advocate it while they’re newbors but definitely get her used to sleeping by herself before she’s a few months old and remembers that she prefers to sleep with you. I found that it helps to lie or sit on a hand towel or small blanket while you’re nursing and then lay it down in her bassinet when you put her in there. it will be warm from your body heat so she won’t jerk awake from the cold sheets. Also, when she spits up you don’t have to change the sheets!
I normally don’t offer unsolicited advice, but I have to urge you to run to your nearest Target or Barnes & Noble and buy a copy of Baby Wise by Gary Ezzo. It saved me from many sleepless nights. I’ve have four children and have used this feeding/sleeping schedule and it works! They were great sleepers as babies and now as toddlers and children. I’m the type of person who thrives on schedules and structure and that is why this book was what I needed. I recommend it and hope you can benefit from the suggestions in it. I’d skip the first couple of chapters on parenting philosophies and get the the knitty gritty of how to get her on a schedule. Hope you find what clicks for you and baby Lucy. Good luck!
It is true that some people are blessed with a well-behaved baby but I believe that those who are “blessed” with a fussy one become quite the strong parent. You already show this and many other positive qualities in your posts and I am sure that you will pull through and start feeling Mom-tastic more and more as the time goes by. I can tell you got it in ya .. I have no doubts! :)
I was about 22 weeks pregnant when you first posted this and I remembered it today in the midst of my own frustration with our newborn.
Our little girl, Addison, is just now 3 weeks and this post has been one of the most helpful things to read! We too have had some weight issues (mine is more due to a breast reduction and perhaps milk supply) and dropped 7 oz, then another 3 oz, went back up then plateaued. And holy moly is it HARD to not blame yourself but it’s so reassuring to know you’re not alone in navigating the first month of their lives. This is our first and thought she naps and sleeps well, she is just so dang tiny! We started supplementing with formula and that escalated my guilt as a failing mommy. Ugh, no fun.
Anyway, thank you again for your honesty because it is not always rainbows and butterflies! How in the world you found time to blog at all in the first few weeks is amazing.