Today, I was thinking I should tell you about one of the worst afternoons of my life.
It was yesterday.
Of course, before I launch into my sorrowful tale, I should let you know that my husband is entirely to blame.
I feel justified in telling you this because #1 It’s true and #2 One of the main benefits of marriage (besides stealing your husband’s socks) is blaming him for everything that goes wrong. It’s a fact.
Yesterday started out completely ordinary. I ran some errands, which INCLUDED buying a new coffeepot and picking up some beef jerky for my husband, because he needs coffee and beef jerky to survive and even though he is responsible for most of the bad things that happen every day, I love him and want him to be happy.
See how mature I am? No wonder we have such a good marriage, I mean really.
The problems started when I got home and began searing a roast to throw in the crockpot for dinner later in the evening.
(For the record, I was going to make THESE French Dip sandwiches, because French Dip sandwiches are one of my husband’s favorite things. Again — totally selfless of me, I know)
As I was searing the roast in a perfectly normal fashion, my smoke alarm began to go off.
Now, WHY exactly the smoke alarm went off, I am not certain. Perhaps it is a particularly sensitive smoke alarm, because I assure you that the roast was NOT burning or smoking profusely, and to question that would be questioning my ability as a cook and a human being, which I simply will not allow.
The bad thing about the smoke alarm going off is that it is tied into our security system. Knowing that the security company would be calling their main contact (MY HUSBAND) to verify that there was a fire, I called him quickly to let him know that all was well.
He didn’t answer his phone.
I tried again.
HE DIDN’T ANSWER HIS PHONE.
I texted him.
HE DIDN’T ANSWER HIS TEXT.
Panicking, I began looking at my security keypad, hoping there was a 1-800 number listed that I could call.
There was none.
As I tried calling my husband again and was headed to look up a number for the security company, I heard something in the distance.
And they were getting louder.
I watched from my porch in horror as a firetruck screeched to a halt in front of my house, sirens blaring.
Now, I don’t have any experience with firetrucks or firemen whatsoever, but what I DO know is that people and professions rarely live up to the stereotype bestowed upon them by the media. So I stood there, humiliated, as my elderly neighbor watched from his porch, certain that a few average looking (perhaps even homely) men would come sauntering out, having a good laugh at my expense.
The planets were not aligned in my favor because what happened was three men with above average handsomeness (read: hotties) emerged in full gear. WITH THEIR DALMATIAN.
Then I died.
What are the odds that they would completely live up to every stereotype I’ve seen on TV and in calendars?
Not that I look at those kinds of calendars, but if I did, I imagine that’s what I would see. I know you don’t look at them either, but you can imagine.
Frantically, I looked around for a shovel with which I could quickly dig a hole and bury myself.
But because it was the worst afternoon of my life, no shovel was available.
So I stood there, trying to explain to the men that everything was FINE, but what I think came out was something like, “IT’S MY HUSBAND’S FAULT AND I’M A GOOD COOK I’M SORRY AM I IN TROUBLE”.
Of course, the men insisted on walking through the house checking for damage of any kind, and I swear that at least one of them was stifling a laugh as he did so. I am only glad that I had the television set to the news like a respectable human, and not Teen Mom or something that would lead to further ridicule.
After reassuring me that they were not angry and would not be hauling me off to False Alarm Firetruck Prison, they left, surely having a good laugh at my expense.
And the only thing worse than having people laugh at you, is having hot firemen laugh at you. Trust me on this.
To say that this was not a good experience for a 7 month pregnant woman is putting it mildly.
Of course, right after the men left, I did what anyone would do, which was call my husband’s mom and tell on him.
And I assure you, even though she was laughing, I could sense her disprovable of her son through the phone and I’m quite certain she has a few choice words reserved for him. Probably.
Also, it turned out that my husband had his ringer turned down and couldn’t hear it. He says it’s because people kept calling while he was meeting with a customer, but I think it’s because he was sick of me texting him links about dancing Gangnam Style, which he refuses to learn with me, but that’s a whole other deal for another day.
He did the dishes after dinner and acted like he felt really sorry for me, so we fell back in love again.
Last week, after making Caramel Apple Cheesecake Cream Horns, I found that I had bought too much puff pastry and apple pie filling.
So…I decided to try making turnovers!!
I’ve never actually made my own turnovers, but I absolutely love them, and figured they couldn’t be too hard.
Turns out, they’re easy peasy. Why haven’t I been making these my whole life?
Just thaw your puff pastry according to package directions and cut into four squares. Two sheets come in a pack, so you should end up with eight.
Spread your filling, staying shy of the edges, along half of the pastry on a diagonal.
Fold in half (it should form a triangle), pinching the very tip of the triangle so it doesn’t open up in the oven.
I filled mine with a cinnamon cream cheese mixture and apple pie filling, and they were completely delicious.
These are so easy and come together really quickly, which makes them the perfect breakfast!!
Apple Cinnamon Cream Cheese Turnovers
- 1 package (2 sheets) frozen puff pastry, thawed
- 1 can (21 oz) apple pie filling
- Cinnamon Cream Cheese Filling:
- 8 oz block cream cheese, softened
- 3 TBS butter, softened
- 2 1/2 cups powdered sugar
- 1/2 teaspoon vanilla
- 1 teaspoon cinnamon
- 1 cup powdered sugar
- 1-2 TBS warm water
1. Preheat oven to 400. Lightly spray 2 baking sheets with nonstick baking spray (or line with parchment paper or silpat) and set aside.
2. In the bowl of a mixer, beat cream cheese, butter, and vanilla until smooth. Add powdered sugar and cinnamon and beat on medium speed until smooth and fluffy, about a minute.
3. Cut each puff pastry into squares. Spread cream cheese over half of the square ON A DIAGONAL, staying clear of the edges. Spoon apple pie filling on top of the cream cheese mixture, and fold the puff pastry over. It should form a triangle. Make sure to pinch the tip of the triangle to keep the pastry from separating.
4. Place turnovers on prepared baking sheets and bake for about 15 minutes or until pastry is dark golden brown.
5. While turnovers are baking, prepare glaze: Whisk 1 Tablespoon warm water into a cup of powdered sugar. If mixture is too thick, add a bit more water. Drizzle over warm turnovers.