So, I am living with a couple of screen faces.
I don’t know if you know what a screen face is, but it is basically someone whose face is always lit up by the white glow of an iPod/iPhone screen.
It’s ridiculous. Also, I am pretty sure it’s possible to have little white rectangles permanently etched on your eyeballs at some point.
A few days ago, my husband and son decided that they wanted to watch a show together. It was some dumb show where men with long beards hunt alligators or make duck calls, or maybe men try to survive in the wilderness for no reason, I don’t know. I just know that basically everything they watch has SOMETHING like that in it, so I have no interest. I decided to go bake something just to save myself the misery because I’m pretty sure that hearing Swamp People is bad for the baby’s development.
While cookies were in the oven, I happened to peek out into the living room.
Do you want to guess what I saw?
It was not two people watching television together.
It was two people staring at small screens while a big screen played a show that they weren’t even watching.
Of course I was all, “what is going on, why aren’t you watching the show” and they were all, “we’re doing stuff and watching at the same time” and I was like, “seriously it’s impossible to watch two screens at once, only extra terrestrials have that capability, but they also have fish gills soooo….you are liars”.
Since then, I have kept a close eye on their screen time and decided that this is getting out of hand. Things kind of came to a head the other night when in a fit, I told my husband that he should just marry his stupid iPad.
Which honestly, is ridiculous because I don’t even think that’s legal.
Also, I threw in something about “carrying your child…giving birth, is your iPAD GOING TO DO THAT?!?!” which again, is kind of silly. I mean, I am pretty sure that iPods don’t birth children, although I do think I might see that in my lifetime.
Then I started stomping around and making loud noises and setting things down hard, which just sounds kind of scary I think. I use that tactic often when I need to make my point, but between you and me, I don’t know where I’m going with the whole thing. Like, am I trying to threaten by stomp? Is that possible? If for some reason, stomping and setting stuff down hard didn’t work, where would I go from there? Murder by evil stare?
Anyways, my husband finally agreed that screen face time needed to have a limit because omgseriously I do not want him to grow fish gills. So now we set aside time every evening and do real life things like talking using real voices and stuff.
I have to say, I do recommend it even though when you talk in real voices there are no cool abbreviations like when you text. You just have to sound normal and say everything the long way.
So, if you live with screen faces and want to stay in love and not have them turn to aliens or go to jail from marrying electronics, I suggest yelling and stomping around a little. It may not be the most mature way, but it usually works.
Then you can make cookies together!! And Tweet about it the whole time.
These cookies are amazing and SO easy — you can throw them together in no time!!
Gooey Butter Toffee Cookies
Adapted from Gooey Lemon Butter Cookies
- 1 box yellow cake mix
- 1 stick butter, slightly softened
- 8 oz block cream cheese, slightly softened
- 1 large egg
- 8 oz bag Milk Chocolate Toffee Bits
1. Preheat oven to 350. Line baking sheets with parchment paper and set aside.
2. In the bowl of a mixer, beat cream cheese and butter on medium speed until smooth and combined. Add cake mix and egg and beat on medium until well mixed. Using a wooden spoon, add milk chocolate toffee bits.
3. Using a small spoon or cookie scoop, place dough 2 inches apart on prepared baking sheets. Bake for about 8-10 minutes or until edges start to turn golden. Remove from oven and let cool on sheets for a few minutes before removing to cooling rack.
Makes about 3 dozen cookies.