Some of you might remember that I moved a year ago, from my house on a dirt road across from a field of cows, to an actual street in a city with stuff in it and neighbors who don’t own goats or drive John Deere’s around.
A year later, we FINALLY have a closing date on the sale of our home.
Of course, I am not holding my breath. We’ve had several offers, and closing dates, but securing financing is ridiculous nowadays, you basically have to know all the cheats to the original Super Mario Brothers, the blood of a unicorn, and a bronze engraved copy of every check you’ve ever written for the past decade, so it always ends up falling through at the last minute.
The whole thing makes me kind of sad because it’s like, everyone has to have a place to live, so it doesn’t seem like it should be so hard. And I get that there is an economic crisis and banks had to change the way they lend because of irresponsible mortgages, but there just has to be a better way.
When I was in 3rd grade, I had a teacher named Mrs. Peters who I think was related to the devil, she was all about tough life lessons and stuff like that. And one day she left class for a few minutes — she said it was to run to the office but I’m fairly certain she was taking a break for her daily snack of nails and lighter fluid. ANYWAYS, while she was gone, this boy in my class named Luigi got up and started being really funny and all of us were dying laughing. Then Mrs. Peters came back and caught him.
I’m not going to lie, a little thrill went through me as I anticipated the punishment he was going to get.
Only…she didn’t punish him. She let him go to recess and made the rest of us stay inside, so all the REST of us got punished instead. I know it was supposed to teach us a lesson about encouraging him, but honestly, all it did was confirm my theories about her relation to a demonic entity.
Anyways, this whole situation makes me think of that day in 3rd grade, only the banks are Luigi and everyone else is the rest of the class, who is staying in for recess when EVERYONE knows that kids need time to get their energy out.
I’m wondering if maybe instead of getting loans, we could just do a bartering system where we trade houses. Kind of like on The Holiday, only permanent and without Jude Law or Jack Black.
Jude Law has a funny forehead, and I just can’t erase the image of Jack Black and Kate Winslet kissing from my mind.
You’re ROSE, Kate. ROSE!!!
It would be so easy to just trade, and if we trade for a house that’s a bit nicer, we could throw in our penny jar, or one of those homemade coupon books for back rub and doing the dishes IOUs. I mean, I’m not a fan of rubbing a stranger’s back, but if it will get me a pool, or maybe one of those book cases that is a secret door, I will definitely give it a go.
And if that doesn’t work, I will give them cupcakes. Cupcakes usually always work. Mostly.
You really won’t believe how easy these are. They taste way better than the Hostess version and they’re cheaper too!!
Start with a Devil’s Food Cupcake. I normally use Duncan Hines cake mix, but I used Betty Crocker this time and was very surprised. The cupcakes were perfectly moist (I hate that word, but what do you do) and had nice domes on the top.
Make your filling and pipe it in.
There will be a hole in the top, but no biggie. It will get covered with frosting.
Now for the most important part — melt a can of chocolate frosting and dip the top of the cupcake in it, allowing the excess to drip off.
Don’t get me wrong, I love homemade buttercream and normally prefer it, but there are some situations in life that call for a can of chocolate frosting. This is one of them.
Pipe your squiggle on top and you’re all set!!
These are one of our favorites around here, and so easy to make. I hope you enjoy them!!
Homemade Hostess Cupcakes
- 2 dozen Devils Food Cupcakes, baked and cooled (use a mix, make homemade, whatever floats your dinghy)
- 3 cups powdered sugar
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- 1 teaspoon vanilla
- 1/2 cup boiling water
- 1 1/2 cup vegetable shortening
- 6 Tablespoons cold butter, cut into pieces
- 1 can of chocolate frosting
- 1 can of vanilla frosting, for squiggles
1. Prepare filling: In the bowl of a mixer, combine powdered sugar, salt, and vanilla. Add boiling water and whip with the WHISK ATTACHMENT on medium low speed until smooth and cool. Add shortening and butter and beat on medium low until combined. Increase speed to medium high and beat for about 4-5 minutes, until smooth, fluffy, and doubled in volume.
2. Fill cupcakes. You can use a piping bag and tip, or cut a hole with a knife, fill with a spoon, and place the cut out cake back on top to cover.
3. Remove lid and foil from frosting and microwave on high for about a minute, stirring every 15 seconds until it is the consistency of hot fudge. Dip the tops of the cupcakes in the frosting, holding upside down to allow excess to drip off so they aren’t messy.
4. Once frosting has cooled and firmed up, pipe squiggles on with canned white frosting (or remaining filling) if desired.
Filling recipe is adapted from The Whimsical Bakehouse’s House Buttercream