The other day, Jon David went to his first Non-Grandma sleepover.
I spent like 2 weeks trying to think of reasons he couldn’t go, but it was for his best friend’s birthday and they live right down the road. So, I finally gave in and my mouth said, “okay” but my heart was screaming for him to stay home with me and snuggle up with a blanket and storybooks and hot cocoa.
I had him take my husband’s old phone with him, in case there was an Arkansas Earthquake or something, and he got buried under a pile of rocks and needed to call and give me his exact location. I mean, we don’t ever have earthquakes here, but if we do, it would probably be when my 7 year old was at his first sleepover, so I wanted to be prepared.
The evening went fine, I slept with his ratty old bear that he left at home because apparently bringing a stuffed member of the family to a sleepover isn’t COOL.
After a night of tossing and turning, I woke up at 6:30 am, anticipating his frantic call to come pick him up. Surely they’d be trying to force him into drinking white milk for breakfast, or something equally abhorrent that would call for immediate evacuation of the premises.
By 10:30 am, I still hadn’t received a call and was growing concerned. Was he indeed buried under a pile of rocks? Had I slept through a massive quake? Not wanting to seem over protective, I decided to send a quick text and see if he responded.
Within minutes, I got a reply. He was GREAT!! And wanted to STAY AWHILE!!
After mulling it over for a few minutes, I decided that the text hadn’t actually come from my son. Probably, he had walked into fire or fell and broke his face, and his parents were buying time while they patched him up so I wouldn’t find out. Obviously they didn’t know who they were dealing with, so I broke my cardinal rule and made a Real Voice call to my son.
And in his real voice (and sounding quite cheerful), he told me he was having a GREAT!! time.
Were they holding up cue cards? Using a voice changer like on the Scream movies? Honestly it was like I was living in an alternate reality.
I held out until 1:30, when I was on the verge of placing a call to 911 to report this kid’s parent’s for breaking my son’s face, and went ahead and picked him up.
He was fine.
Honestly I don’t even know how that was possible. I even checked him for cracks or bruises but he seemed to be in perfect shape. It kind of hurt my feelings, if you want to know the truth. He should have been pale and withered away, his hours and hours of missing me having aged him beyond recognition.
In short, kids growing up is dumb and I don’t recommend it.
Also, kids growing up and having fun without you calls for easy, colorful, and calorie laden desserts. So let’s do this thing.
Your kids will always come rushing home when you have treats like this waiting. And if they don’t, just eat a bunch of these and cry.
Funfetti Gooey Butter Cakes
Adapted from Paula Deen The Lady and Sons
- Box of Funfetti Cake Mix
- 1 egg
- 1 stick butter, melted
- 8 oz package cream cheese, softened
- 2 eggs
- 1 teaspoon vanilla
- 1 stick butter, melted
- 4 cups powdered sugar
- 1/4 cup rainbow sprinkles
1. Preheat oven to 350. Lightly grease a 9×13 pan.
2. In a medium bowl, combine cake mix, egg, and butter until it forms a soft dough. Press evenly into the bottom of the pan and set aside.
3. In the bowl of a mixer, beat cream cheese until smooth. Add egg and vanilla and beat until combined. Add butter and beat until mixed in. Add powdered sugar and beat until combined, then fold in sprinkles and spread over the cake mix crust. Bake for about 45 minutes, until edges are set and center is a bit gooey.
I don’t care what anyone says, it really is possible to eat your feelings.