Do you remember when you were little and you’d drink Root Beer and you’d tell your friends, “I’m having beer” and you thought it was funny but then you grew up and realized it wasn’t funny at all?
My husband still does that.
And he still thinks it’s funny. So does my son.
Honestly, I don’t understand it.
Supposedly, I am a funny person. I have emails from people telling me that I’m funny. I have blog comments from people telling me I’m funny. PROOF, husband. PROOF that I am professional at being funny. Like, if someone said, “oh what do YOU do for a living”, instead of saying “homemaker”, I can say “I am funny” and it would be acceptable because I have documents backing it up.
In MY house, I apparently don’t know what funny is.
Pretending that a Root Beer is an “ice cold beer” = Not Funny
A Nerf Dart bouncing off my face = Not Funny (I could have lost an eye)
My son’s straw wrapper being shot across the restaurant table and landing in my bra = Not funny
Running and screaming because my kid is chasing me with a disgusting, germ infested bird feather that he found on the ground, while a crowd slowly gathers around, staring = DEFINITELY NOT FUNNY
Me hyperventilating because my husband brought unexpected guests over for lunch with only 10 minutes notice via text = Again, NOT funny (thanks for shaking your head and walking away while I repeatedly asked for a paper bag to breathe into, honey)
So as you can see, if you think I’M funny, you should come to my house (with appropriate notice, of course. And by notice, I mean text me…please don’t call with real voices. NEVER call with real voices). Apparently, it is a real laugh riot around here. Not that I’d know.
I’ll be the one in the background, huddled up on the couch with my iPhone (aka my invincibility shield) hiding because I’m scared of pretty much everything that isn’t full of sugar or produced digitally, screaming “STOP LAUGHING!! THAT’S NOT FUNNY AND I WOULD KNOW BECAUSE I AM THE PROFESSIONAL!!!!!”
It should come as no surprise to you that my husband and son loved this Root Beer Float Fudge (cue the “having a beer” jokes). You have to be pretty watchful while preparing it, but it’s totally worth the effort. It tastes just like a Root Beer Float!!
Don’t be intimidated by the use of a candy thermometer. This Root Beer Float Fudge is WELL worth the few extra steps and would be really cute cut into hearts and boxed up for Valentines Day!!
Root Beer Float Fudge (adapted from Chocolates and Confections at Home with the Culinary Institute of America)
- 4 cups sugar
- 1/2 cup light corn syrup
- 1/2 cup heavy cream
- 1 cup whole milk
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1 teaspoon vanilla bean paste (or vanilla extract)
- 3 teaspoons Root Beer Flavor (I used Root Beer Concentrate and found it at the grocery store with the extracts and spices)
- 3 cups mini marshmallows
1. Butter a 9 inch square baking pan and set aside.
2. In a large heavy saucepan over medium heat, combine sugar, corn syrup, heavy cream, milk, salt and vanilla bean paste. Stir constantly until the mixture reaches 236 F with a candy thermometer. If you do NOT reach that temperature, the fudge will not set, so if you’re unsure, go a degree or two higher before removing from heat. Once removed from heat, stir in Root Beer Flavoring.
3. Pour the mixture into a 9×13 pan and leave to cool. Do NOT stir or disturb the mixture. Allow to cool for about 15 minutes. The mixture should cool to 120 F, so check it with a candy thermometer, and if it isn’t cool enough, let it go a bit longer and check again.
4. Pour the mixture into the bowl of a mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Beat on medium speed until the fudge lightens in color considerably, loses it’s shine, and thickens. It’s a very noticeable difference (it takes on the consistency of a frosting instead of syrup), so if you’re UNSURE, it probably needs to mix for a bit longer. Once it’s thicker, lighter, and less shiny, beat in the marshmallows and immediately spread in your prepared pan.
5. Allow the fudge to set for at least an hour at room temperature before serving.
Enjoy and have a happy Tuesday!!