One thing about marriage that is not so romantic is that you run out of things to talk about. Especially me, because I stay home all day, so it’s not like I have annoying co-workers or super important business lunches to discuss. There for awhile, my husband would come home and be all, “how were things in Blogland today?” and I’d get all irate like, “I can’t believe you are trivializing my work, seriously no one respects what I do, making treats and talking about them is IMPORTANT. How about I start asking you how things were in CONTRACTOR LAND, would that make you feel like a serious worker?”, so he stopped asking that.
Now he comes home and says, “how was work today?” and I’m like, “whatever, stop pretending I have a real job that is called A Work”.
So what ends up happening is, I talk about the same stories all the time, and then my husband gets frustrated because he’s already heard them infinity times but he tries to be patient and listen anyways. Then he finally butts in and says the ending and I tell the ending again anyways because I need closure.
Seriously. Conversation closure is a real and important thing.
Plus, I have tried to explain numerous times that certain things merit retelling, it’s just a rule of life that men don’t know about. I mean, life is full of so much boring stuff that it’s not fair to limit the big things to only one Talk About.
So. To make things easier on all of us, I have come up with this handy list showing how many times we are allowed to re-tell certain stories.
- Throwing up – 10 times
- Going to the hospital – 20 times
- Breaking a bone – 15 times but you also get the 20 times because you had to go to the hospital
- Childbirth – infinity times because that crap stinkin’ hurts
- That one time your husband made you mad – 12.5 times. The half time is where you kind of bring it up and do an evil eye, but don’t discuss it fully
- Your archnemisis – also infinity times And if you’re a woman who says she doesn’t have an archnemisis (someone who stole your boyfriend or always has better hair than you), then you’re really missing out. In a sick and twisted way, having an archnemisis is kind of awesome.
- Something BAD your kid did – 3 times because after awhile, it’s really annoying
- Something GOOD your kid did – 40 times if you get to take the credit, 4 times if your husband gets the credit
- A really great thing you bought on sale – every time you wear/use it.
- Knowing someone who turned out to be living a double life as a serial killer - every day, all the time, nonstop
- Making a really good dinner/dessert/any type of food – 8 times but you get an infinity of “wasn’t it good?s” and “did you love it?s”
Please feel free to print this, laminate it, and keep it in your pocket for reference.
Another thing I’ve been talking a lot about lately is Valentines Day. I’m all up in the pink hearts and chocolate-ness and I couldn’t be happier about it. I’m not sure my husband is so thrilled, but Valentines Day isn’t for boys anyways so whatevs.
This Chocolate Cherry Bark was inspired by the Chocolate Cherry Valentines Day M&Ms. It’s really quick and easy to throw together and would look super cute in little cello bags tied with a ribbon.
You’ll need:
Cherry M&Ms. I bought mine at Target.
Assorted heart sprinkles and cherry candy flavoring. Be sure to use candy flavoring and NOT EXTRACT. Candy flavoring is oil based and will not make your chocolate seize up.
About 2 cups each of Pink Candy Melts and Dark Chocolate Candy Melts. Notice that my Dark Chocolate Candy Melts are a different size. That is because they are Chocomaker Wafers that are for candy making OR chocolate fountains. These wafers melt much more quickly and smoothly than regular candy melts and I use them often. I buy mine at Walmart or Hobby Lobby.
Melt the dark chocolate in the microwave according to package directions. Spread on a large baking sheet that is lined with wax paper. Place in the refrigerator to harden.
Melt pink candy melts according to package directions. Stir in about 1/4 teaspoon of cherry candy flavoring (or more to taste). Spread melted candy over the chocolate.
Immediately sprinkle with candy and sprinkles. Place pan back in the refrigerator until set, then break into pieces.
If cherry isn’t your thing, omit the cherry candy flavoring and use regular M&Ms instead. They have the plain ones in pretty Valentines Day colors too.
Enjoy!
I hope you have a fabulous Tuesday!!!
It looks so beautiful! I love valentines treats and candy. And this really would make the perfect gift! Looks delicious, thanks for sharing!
I keep telling my husband that I’m allowed to tell childbirth stories infinity times. Each time it is different because I like to point out a different part that was particularly painful. I like to keep it interesting you know. I mean, we all know how it’s going to end.
Ooo chocolate. This is being starred in my Google reader;) And don’t doubt yourself your awesome! ( And hilarious!)
Cute idea and so simple. My son loves to bake and I’m sure as he see’s this he’ll want to make it 10 times before Valentines day.
Also, my husband is the worst about retelling stories so anytime I retell one, I just tell him to zip it and listen because I’ve heard the “big buck” story a gazillion times and never interrupted!
I hope everything you make is pink until Valentine’s Day! Love it!
I love your creativity! Thank you for blogging with the world to share your stories, tips, and recipes! Each time I see an entry of interest, it inspires me to try it. Hope that you have a great Tuesday as well!
I’m totally laminating that list, so I can whip it out and wave it around when my husband informs me I’ve already “told that story.” Uh, duh, but now I’m telling it again.
Also, loving the candy bark–can’t go wrong with anything pink and/or cherry flavored–yum.
How many times am I allowed to talk about that one time where I make Chocolate Cherry Bark and I ended up eating the entire tray and was sick for 2 days?
’cause that is totally going to happen.
LOVE THIS!!! So making it for Valentine’s treats!! Thanks!!
Der der der der….can’t touch this……. thanks for the laughs and the great idea!
haha totally agree with the infinity rule for the archnemisis
I didn’t even know they made cherry M & Ms!! I want some! But I don’t think they sell them in Canada! : (
I love reading your blog! I was starting to think I was the last housewife in the whole world!! But then you came along and It’s amazing! I love knowing someone else out there deals with this stuff! I laughed so hard relating to this! When my husband worked in an office he would come home and ask what I did all day and I would be all defensive and patiently list all the cooking and cleaning I do every day to prove I wasn’t just sitting in the bath eating bonbons, then I realized he was looking for an entertaining story and I would come up blank, I cooked and cleaned all day! There isn’t much fascinating fanfare to tell! Now that my husband works from home it is even worse! We spend all day, every day together and then at dinner he will ask, “What did you do today?” I have started just making up crazy stories. (last week I recused a baby kitten, fought of zombie aliens, and joined the women’s suffrage parade from Mary Poppins.) I go into detail, sometimes I acting bits out.
Oooh, I’m in love with this! So pretty and pink!
I’ll be posting that list on my fridge, thank you very much!
This bark deserves lots and lots of conversation!
Love you, love your readers, love your treats. You’re are making my lead up to Valentine’s Day happy, happy, happy. I’m going to the store and buy me some cherry M&Ms, immediately. By the way, I’m 67 and STILL love telling my childbirth tale. In fact, I love hearing other women tell their tale of pain and suffering. Call me, I’ll listen.
oh you KNOW i am going to print that out. I think it would be a great insert in my bf’s Valentine’s Day card. lol
I would be so bored without you.
Ha you make me laugh a lot! I love reading your blog! I’m a housewife too and I find that even if I do have a funny story about the kids or some catastrophe that has happened, my husband does not appreciate it with the me vigor as I do. I’m not sure he gets it. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I sometimes a lot forget about things I’ve told him and repeat them over and over. But I’m allowed to be absentminded because I am a stay at home mom/housewife.
OK so… I am about to die from awesomeness. I found your blog today through cookiesandcups.com (found hers through pinterest) and I am laughing my fool head off… and that’s why I’m mad at you!
I’m laying flat on my back (in my daughter’s bed, no less) because I put my back out at work today. It HURTS when I laugh. And I couldn’t stop reading this post… therefore I had to keep laughing. Grrrr.
Anyway, I shall make this… it looks thoroughly amazing. And HUH? Cherry M&M’s? Did not know they existed. My life is immediately better. Now if my darn back would cooperate, then I’d be off to Target in 12.5 seconds to pick up some.
these are oh-so-pretty! love the cherry version of chocolate bark!
ooooooh! So, those are red cherry M&M’s! When I opened your post and saw the first pic, I was like “how the heck did she get the cherries to look like that!?”
I’m glad you gave the tip about the non-cherry version at the end, cuz I’m not a cherry lover…but a liker….somewhat…depending on the cherry dish…like cherry pie, yum! cherry chocolate, no thanks. ;) Looks wonderful, though, and I’m thinking I might make some (non-cherry) and bag it up for my new neighbors for v-day! woot, woot! I’ll be the cool neighbor! :)
Good Lord this is adorable!
Yes, running out of things to talk about happens. WHy are men so comfortable with silence and we are not? Why do we feel the need to retell the story? Who cares. Let’s just keep doing it. I’m printing your list out too ;)
I came here to look for a truffle recipe to make for an event Thursday at my “work” (sitting in a clothing boutique I normally shop at meeting cool business owners and playing with my kid). But I am all over this for our February event, simple, easy, quick…I’m ALL OVER this.
Your list is DEAD ON and I love it! And the bark looks pretty fantastic too! ;)
The time your infant son threw up on, peed on and pooped on your husband all in a span of 20 seconds – at least 40 times because it was too damn funny not to relive regularly. Love your adorable Valentine’s bark!
Your posts always make me laugh! I just love you! Love this bark too!
i love how adorable this bark looks for valentine’s day…thank you for the idea! i’m definitely going to make this.
I know how you feel except I don’t blog so my husband doesn’t even get to ask me that. But I don’t know how many times I will be telling a story and he goes “3, that make the 3rd time you told me” lol. LOVE you site I am always laughting
Too funny! My husband always has all of the good stories and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want to hear my blog stories the first time I tell them! Cute bark, you have the best ideas!
cutest bark ever!
seriously.
Love it! and I love the list- I will definitely use it :)
Awesome post – I laughed so much!! And of course your bark looks fantastic : )
Another great idea! :)
PRETTY!
Now that’s a list! You are so funny. I just love reading your posts! Bark is one my favorite {and quickest} treats to whip up. Love this valentines day version :)
I will surely make these. yummy
Haha – I’m glad you specified the flavoring instead of extract, because just before I read that, I was thinking “hey, I have cherry extract!” I’m the dork who would have seized up the chocolate!
Love the list, and the bark looks amazing too!! XX
I love your posts seriously hilarious every single time! This thing looks yummy too bad I can’t find most of those things over here in South korea! Being stationed here stinks when you show all these yummy goodies I SOOO want to make:) By the way the killer thing totally happened to me, it was my hair dresser and her husband totally freaky!
What a beautiful Valentine’s Day treat. I love it!
Cherry M&M’s how super cool is that flavah?! These are so pretty. And your posts always make me laugh (or at least smile big before 7am) ;)
This looks amazing! I love chocolate covered cherries more than anything and I’m so excited to try this out! Thank you so much for posting this… Awesomeness!
I love all of the pink candy and sweets you are putting together right now. My birthday is in February and I have the biggest sweet tooth ever ever ever so this is all kinds of awesome for me. I always associate this time of year with PINK and RED! I have a request for a combo when you get a chance – mint and dark chocolate!
Beautiful I will be adding this to my candy bark list for sure !
Now that is why I need to travel all the time. So we have stuff to talk about. Though for some reason our conversations are infinitely more interesting when we email each other. Hmmm.
Love the V-Day treats!!
xo
My birthday is the day after Valentine’s and I have always been more excited about Vday because it’s filled with so much love and pink (my favorite color). This bark totally made my day because now I have a great treat idea to bring into work that special day!
It’s very very very important that I print that list off and place it on my boyfriend’s refrigerator – - you’re pretty much saving our men from us getting upset with them!! They should thank you and send you shoes and sparkles because you’ve taken one for the team.
Chocolate cherry bark : ahhh-mazing!
this is GORGEOUS!!! I’m putting chocolate cherry bark on my to-do list! :)
Would you be my valentine? Seriously, I don’t think we could ever run out of things to talk about. Love your list. You have convinced me once aga that you are a genius! The bark looks super yummy too and oh so cute. Thank you much!
This post was hilarious, and I can’t wait to make this for my hubby this Valentine’s Day. You have so many awesome recipes! :)
lol, loved reading this post… hilarious! my fav ‘something good ur kid did :D :D btw the bark looks lovely… perfect colours for val day
it looked so fun, I decided to make it at 10pm at target when I saw the cherry M&M’s– so I used dried cherries in the chocolate instead of the cherry flavor. I’ll let you know how it turns out! Although I think I made it WAAAAY to thick, oh well…
Hahah I totes laughed at that list – I just wonder how many times I’m allowed to remind my boyfriend how much more house cleaning I do than him even though we both work the same amount of hours at work? The bark looks amazing but we can’t get any of this good stuff over here, especially the cherry flavouring :(
That was totally hilarious, I’ll print your list for future reference! Plus, that bark looks fantastic!
Beautiful treat for Valentines Day, and thanks for telling us where you bought the ingredients. I’m heading for target for cherry M&Ms.
Loved the cherry bark, but when I went to break it up most of the m&m’s popped off. Can you maybe have an idea what I did wrong. Thanks, GL
I’m at home all day too. I do keep a 2 year old a couple of days of the week, she adds so much joy to my life. I love to cook! My husband talks enough for both of us, I just listen!
Now…where do I get cherry flavoring? This sounds delicious!!
Uao…. it’s fantastic. A quick and easy recipe.
I’m italian and I found your blog looking for recipes for valentine’s day. I will follow you always.
Sorry for my English….I’m studing to improve.
When I made this my two pieces came apart, the chocolate and the candy melts. When I tried to break it up into pieces they came apart. Do you know why?
Oh no!! I honestly have no idea, I didn’t have problems with mine separating at all!! It sounds like the top layer didn’t adhere to the bottom properly…what kind of chocolate did you use? Maybe it was too oily?
I tried to make this, and most of my M&m’s popped off. am i not applying them fast enough?
I made this and it is Delicious thanks for sharing !