Anyone who knows me knows that I love my husband dearly. He’s a bit older than me (6 years) and puts up with a lot of immature shenanigans on my end. And as sure as I am that marrying him was one of the smartest things I’ve ever done and I will love him to the end of my born days, I’ll also be the first to say this:
Marriage is hard, y’all.
Remember in my last post how I talked about riding unicorns and Cold Hearted Snake, and the importance of recognizing one’s weaknesses? Well, the same is true of recognizing the weaknesses of your spouse. I’m fairly confident that a couple can move forward in a positive way if and only if you can tell your significant other what they are bad at.
And help them fix it.
Of course, this only works for women. I do not in ANY way, shape or form recommend that a man advise his wife on how to behave. Not to sound sexist, or unhusbandloving, but it just isn’t done, men. And if it is, be prepared for the wrath of a woman criticized.
(You know how they say Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned? I say Hell hath no fury like a woman who was asked “is that what you’re wearing”. I think my saying is way smarter)
My husband loves to talk. He’s a talker. Which is a wonderful thing…until we go to a gathering of lots of people.
When we are at a gathering of lots of people, my mind is on one thing–the sweatpants in my third drawer, what is on my DVR, and the Laffy Taffy that needs to be eaten before it goes bad.
(Okay…Laffy Taffy doesn’t actually spoil. But I find that thriftiness is much preferred to gluttony, sooooo…..)
My husband, however, thrives in the conversation and interactions with people. And honestly, I welcome it because I can stand next to him and nod and seem social by association.
But then it’s time to leave.
And leaving is difficult with a talker. Because a talker, after you’ve said your goodbyes, given your hugs, and are two milliseconds from being home free, will turn around with their hand on the door knob and ask one last question.
It’s never a simple question, like “see ya at work tomorrow?” which would merit a “yes” or “no”.
Instead it’s something like “what do you think about the state of our nation’s economy and by the way, who did you vote for in the last election?”
Okay, not really. But you get my point.
And you go from mere minutes away from sweat pants to neck deep in what I call a Doorway Conversation. It’s a heartbreaking transition and it happens in the blink of an eye.
My husband and I eventually settled on the method of Code Word and a Timer. What this means is we come up with an appropriate code word or phrase in advance of all events. Once that code word is uttered (by me), we have a set time to say goodbyes and leave. And it’s important that we stick to the plan. If not, things go haywire and an hour later, I’m sitting in the passenger seat with the window rolled down, nodding as my husband talks about his opinions on Occupy Wall Street.
Okay, kidding. He’s probably talking about deer hunting, football, or where to watch deer hunting or football.
But again, you get my point.
Anyways, this is my advice for a successful marriage–let your husband know what he’s bad at and try to fix it. And if all else fails, use Code Word and a Timer.
The other key to a successful marriage? Lots of sweet desserts. I firmly believe that it’s my baking ability that keeps my husband from growing completely and totally exasperated by me on a daily basis.
The other day, I interrupted my husband during a football game (like…made him pause it) so I could ask him if he’s ever seen a person eat food while they were angry. And when he replied that didn’t think so, but he was sure that people probably DO eat while they’re angry, I asked him to act out an angry person eating food.
So he did. And it was really funny. Seriously, you should try it. Hilarious.
These bars are a perfect example of how to keep the people around you patient and loving. Two layers of chocolate, toffee, and white chocolate cookie with a thick layer of caramel in the middle. Who doesn’t want that in their life?
**This recipe is from the cookbook Sugar, Sugar: Every Recipe Has a Story which was sent to me compliments of the publisher. I was under no obligation to review or share, but I really loved the book and it has some awesome and fun recipes. I highly recommend and it would make a great gift for the baker in your life!!
1 (18.25 oz) box yellow cake mix
1/3 cup vegetable oil
2 large eggs
1 (12 oz) bag chocolate chips
1 cup white chocolate chips
1 cup crushed Heath Bars (or Heath Milk Chocolate Toffee Baking Bits)
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, at room temperature
32 Kraft caramels, unwrapped (or a bag of Kraft Caramel Bits)
1 (14 oz) can sweetened condensed milk
Preheat oven to 350. Line a 9×13 pan with foil and spray thoroughly with nonstick spray.
Pour cake mix, oil, and eggs in the large bowl of a mixer. Beat on medium speed until well mixed. Fold in chocolate chips, white chocolate chips, and Heath bits. Press half the mixture into the bottom of the baking dish (I sprayed my hands with nonstick spray, which made it much easier) and bake for 10 minutes.
While the crust is baking, put the butter, caramels, and sweetened condensed milk in a microwave safe bowl. Heat on high for 2 minutes. Stir and repeat every 30 seconds until the caramel is melted and mixture is smooth. Pour mixture over the baked crust and top with the remaining cake mixture (I just crumbled it and spread it out as evenly as possible…it will rise and spread out a bit while baking).
Bake for 25-30 minutes, until the top is set and deep golden brown. Remove from oven and let cool for about an hour until room temperature. Refrigerate until set (about another hour) then peel foil from the bottom and sides and cut into bars.
You can just call me the Wedding Whisperer. You are welcome, sirs and madams. And Dr. Phil…I do believe you’re about to be de-throned.
Have a happy Tuesday!!