Toffee Caramel Chocolate Chip Bars
Anyone who knows me knows that I love my husband dearly. He’s a bit older than me (6 years) and puts up with a lot of immature shenanigans on my end. And as sure as I am that marrying him was one of the smartest things I’ve ever done and I will love him to the end of my born days, I’ll also be the first to say this:
Marriage is hard, y’all.
Remember in my last post how I talked about riding unicorns and Cold Hearted Snake, and the importance of recognizing one’s weaknesses? Well, the same is true of recognizing the weaknesses of your spouse. I’m fairly confident that a couple can move forward in a positive way if and only if you can tell your significant other what they are bad at.
And help them fix it.
Of course, this only works for women. I do not in ANY way, shape or form recommend that a man advise his wife on how to behave. Not to sound sexist, or unhusbandloving, but it just isn’t done, men. And if it is, be prepared for the wrath of a woman criticized.
(You know how they say Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned? I say Hell hath no fury like a woman who was asked “is that what you’re wearing”. I think my saying is way smarter)
Anyways.
My husband loves to talk. He’s a talker. Which is a wonderful thing…until we go to a gathering of lots of people.
When we are at a gathering of lots of people, my mind is on one thing–the sweatpants in my third drawer, what is on my DVR, and the Laffy Taffy that needs to be eaten before it goes bad.
(Okay…Laffy Taffy doesn’t actually spoil. But I find that thriftiness is much preferred to gluttony, sooooo…..)
My husband, however, thrives in the conversation and interactions with people. And honestly, I welcome it because I can stand next to him and nod and seem social by association.
But then it’s time to leave.
And leaving is difficult with a talker. Because a talker, after you’ve said your goodbyes, given your hugs, and are two milliseconds from being home free, will turn around with their hand on the door knob and ask one last question.
It’s never a simple question, like “see ya at work tomorrow?” which would merit a “yes” or “no”.
Instead it’s something like “what do you think about the state of our nation’s economy and by the way, who did you vote for in the last election?”
Okay, not really. But you get my point.
And you go from mere minutes away from sweat pants to neck deep in what I call a Doorway Conversation. It’s a heartbreaking transition and it happens in the blink of an eye.
My husband and I eventually settled on the method of Code Word and a Timer. What this means is we come up with an appropriate code word or phrase in advance of all events. Once that code word is uttered (by me), we have a set time to say goodbyes and leave. And it’s important that we stick to the plan. If not, things go haywire and an hour later, I’m sitting in the passenger seat with the window rolled down, nodding as my husband talks about his opinions on Occupy Wall Street.
Okay, kidding. He’s probably talking about deer hunting, football, or where to watch deer hunting or football.
But again, you get my point.
Anyways, this is my advice for a successful marriage–let your husband know what he’s bad at and try to fix it. And if all else fails, use Code Word and a Timer.
The other key to a successful marriage? Lots of sweet desserts. I firmly believe that it’s my baking ability that keeps my husband from growing completely and totally exasperated by me on a daily basis.
The other day, I interrupted my husband during a football game (like…made him pause it) so I could ask him if he’s ever seen a person eat food while they were angry. And when he replied that didn’t think so, but he was sure that people probably DO eat while they’re angry, I asked him to act out an angry person eating food.
So he did. And it was really funny. Seriously, you should try it. Hilarious.
These bars are a perfect example of how to keep the people around you patient and loving. Two layers of chocolate, toffee, and white chocolate cookie with a thick layer of caramel in the middle. Who doesn’t want that in their life?
**This recipe is from the cookbook Sugar, Sugar: Every Recipe Has a Story which was sent to me compliments of the publisher. I was under no obligation to review or share, but I really loved the book and it has some awesome and fun recipes. I highly recommend and it would make a great gift for the baker in your life!!
(click here for printable recipe)
INGREDIENTS
1 (18.25 oz) box yellow cake mix
1/3 cup vegetable oil
2 large eggs
1 (12 oz) bag chocolate chips
1 cup white chocolate chips
1 cup crushed Heath Bars (or Heath Milk Chocolate Toffee Baking Bits)
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, at room temperature
32 Kraft caramels, unwrapped (or a bag of Kraft Caramel Bits)
1 (14 oz) can sweetened condensed milk
Preheat oven to 350. Line a 9×13 pan with foil and spray thoroughly with nonstick spray.
Pour cake mix, oil, and eggs in the large bowl of a mixer. Beat on medium speed until well mixed. Fold in chocolate chips, white chocolate chips, and Heath bits. Press half the mixture into the bottom of the baking dish (I sprayed my hands with nonstick spray, which made it much easier) and bake for 10 minutes.
While the crust is baking, put the butter, caramels, and sweetened condensed milk in a microwave safe bowl. Heat on high for 2 minutes. Stir and repeat every 30 seconds until the caramel is melted and mixture is smooth. Pour mixture over the baked crust and top with the remaining cake mixture (I just crumbled it and spread it out as evenly as possible…it will rise and spread out a bit while baking).
Bake for 25-30 minutes, until the top is set and deep golden brown. Remove from oven and let cool for about an hour until room temperature. Refrigerate until set (about another hour) then peel foil from the bottom and sides and cut into bars.
You can just call me the Wedding Whisperer. You are welcome, sirs and madams. And Dr. Phil…I do believe you’re about to be de-throned.
Have a happy Tuesday!!
Thanks for visiting my blog! I realize you could be doing more important things with your time. Like watching the news or washing socks. I hope you stay awhile. Much more fun than socks, I promise. 
Thank you for the mental image of a grown man eating while angry. That made my morning. XD
See? Totally funny.
MY husband is a talker too! I have to developed the “Look” that signals that I’m ready to leave! haha
but in a different note, those bars looks really really good! yum!
Again… I am laughing and drooling while reading your post! -I know… not a pretty thought. Anyway, I can’t wait to try these. They look delish! I am just curious how you cut these to look so perfect? Mine always seem to crumble as I slice and serve. I am confident that there must be some easy peasy trick to it??? (okay…obviously I must not be too confident by the 3 question marks at the end…maybe hopeful is the term I was looking for).
I can so relate to the doorway conversations. I come from a family of those people. It would not be unusual for someone to call and ask what “stage” their husband (either one of my uncles or grandpa) was at in the goodbye process.
Stage one: Saying “I had better get going”
Stage two: Actually saying goodbye
Stage three: hand on doorknob (still talking)
Stage four: In the driveway (still talking)
Stage five: Sitting in the car (still talking)
Stage six: Finally driving out of the driveway!
I use either a super sharp knife (like a big, butcher type one) OR my other favorite trick is biscuit cutters. I have a square set and a round set, and they cut neat, even bars every time!!
Bahahaha I thought you were sayingyou use a butcher knife and biscuit cutters to get your husband to leave!!!
I agree one hundred percent with those stages. They completely apply to my husband as well. Except you might even add one more for him…. Stage SEVEN: Yell-talking as he backs out of the driveway with his head hanging out the window.
I totally agree that baked goods are the key to a happy marriage. My husband doesn’t even remember that we had a fight if he walks in the door and the house smells like cupcakes! ;-)
Holy cow!! These look totally delish!! By the way, I’m totally a doorway conversation person. I just can’t seem to help myself. I always think of that “one last thing” that I need to share. Yet, I too enjoy my sweatpants & DVR. I am an oxymoron. I say that in the nicest possible way to myself, of course. :)
My husband does the same thing! Its so bad theres no point in a code word & timer because he’d still be talking! So Ive adapted the ever so slightly stepping on his toes & swinging back &the forth like a confused school girl all while hitting him with my purse method. Immature I know but succesful nonetheless and luckily for me hes forgetful so by the time we make it out of the driveway hes forgotten is frustrationand moved on
This is heavenly!
Pinned…blogged…now, the only thing left to do is MAKE and ENJOY! These look so yummy AND I wonder why I can’t lose weight! ha I find recipes like this!! I can’t wait to try!
Have you ever watched foghorn leghorn and in particular the short called a fractured leghorn? That is the perfect representation of my father in law. My kids were watching looney toons the other day and it came on and I couldn’t stop laughing. They of course couldn’t figure out what I found so hilarious. Fortunately my husband isn’t that way but the father in law is a compulsive talker that is always right. I love him, but it never stops. Maybe if I made him some of these it would possibly slow him down a bit. Thanks for another terrific looking recipe! Maybe someday I will be off this wretched diet. And will be able to start making your recipes I have been stock piling. Thanks again!
Oh my goodness…. you just describe my man to a T. Door conversations are his signature. At work, at friends, at the grocery store!
He will also agree with you on the lots of sweets part. These bars look great!
Ah hahah that’s totally what I am thinking about the entire time I am out being social. My comfy pants and my dvr. Not so much the laffy taffy more like these bars. They look really, really good. I think white chocolate is not nearly used enough. You should have taped your husband eating angry and put in on you tube along side jon davids video. which btw is uber cute! man that kid is CUTE!
Ok-the image of the ‘angry’ eating thing almost made me snort my lunch of SpaghettiO’s on to the screen of my laptop! (I did add a scile of cheese to them-it make them a health food-right??) I sooooo understand the want of leaving a party or other social event, and eat whatever sugar ladden food the is on the verge of spoiling! My hubby too, is the social butterfly of our house. However, I now must head to the store and buy carmels, white chocolate chips and condensed milk!! Thank you for sharing your world with us! =)
The codeword in our house is swordfish. Always swordfish.
It’s hard working it into conversation sometimes.
These bars look pretty much amazing…like the reason I woke up today was to see these.
Do you ever get that crazy look in your eyes and try to send him the “LETS GO HOME MAN!!! I HAVE NOMNOMS AT HOME TO EAT!! PLEASE!!!??” message just by looking at him? LOL I try this everytime- only works sometimes! I’m going to have to try the codeword for sure!
my husband is 10 years older than me… dude… marriage IS hard. i give us props for sticking through it!
Ugh I hate it when just as I think we are about to leave and my husband asks that one more question….I makes me SO mad!
Soooo funny! I just wanted to say I am loving your blog. I only “discovered” it today and have already added it to my sister and I’s blog. Love your sense of humor! oh, yeah….and the toffee bars aren’t so bad either :)
I have had this exact recipe for a few years now and they are beyond delicious. Everyone loves them and they make bad things happy.
As for you, well you are always the bright spot in my day. Your wisdom is second to none and Jon David’s levitating is beyond impressive.
Laughing so out loud at this point. My husband is sooooo much a talker….we use the code word system…but then I use the code word 30 minutes earlier than when I want to leave…but don’t tell him that!
so, my internet time usually happens while im nursing the baby. your blog however, needs to be the exception. you see, the baby will be nearing dreamland (which means i can put him to bed and this is my one chance to get something done) and then i read about something like a mans wife asking him to demonstrate an angry person eating… and then HE DOES IT. i cant help but laugh out loud, or at least snort, and then the baby is awake. and its all your fault.
Thank you wedding whisperer… I will make these upon my boyfriends arrival home on Friday from a business trip!
Okay so I’m trying to stay on my diet to go on vacation in 2 weeks and you are killing me with these…so thanks A LOT! :)
my god these are amazing… I would like to know, should they stay refrigerated for storage?
Those look like squares of caramely heaven! My husband can be a talker, but I think in our family *I’m* the one for which a Code Word & Timer would need to be developed. Thank God my darling hubby is patient. I fault my being a stay-at-home mom to a 2 yr. old & my complete lack of adult interaction/conversation most days.
First of all, you’re absolutely hilarious and pretty darn smart. This is very good advice for us wives! I like it. I also like the recipe. Thanks for sharing, and thanks for the laugh!
Oh wow! These have all of my favorite things! I’m in love!
I love reading your blog! Your stories crack me up and your pictures are amazing! Thanks for sharing!
Now I really want to make somebody angry while they are eating. But it would have to be something that they really want to eat- otherwise the person might stop eating. THANKSGIVING! That’s it! Thanksgiving dinner- who can resist it?! I’m going to make somebody really angry next Thursday. ;) Thanks!
these look absolutely delicious!!!! i think i need to have a dessert party just to make all of your recipes that i have saved in my “recipe folder!”
that being said, i now know how my husband feels about ME when it’s time to leave. uh oh!!! i believe i’m the reason he hates going to all the school functions :-)
[...] Confessions of a Cookbook Queen posted these squares of goodness. [...]
Oh my goodness, I know what you mean! Those doorway conversations get ya every. single. time!
LOL we need to have a code word plan!
Love these:-)
Stuff made w/ cake mixes is pretty much genius. Major drool :)
Ha, I have the exact opposite problem! My boyfriend thinks he’s great at socializing, but in reality it’s just not so. I don’t want to hurt his feelings so I just let him think he’s just as good as me, but I fear eventually I will have to tell him.
~Katy
Girl you are too funny. Other than my coffee…..which I must have, your stories are the next best thing on a gloomy morning. I totally agree, husbands need to be told what to fix about themselves….lol.
These look bomb.com . Also, Dr. Phil needs to be de-throned like, five minutes ago. And you are just the person to do it!
Ha! I am sooooo guilty of that one…but apparently its a family tradition as my cousin’s wife calls it “The Hoiten Good-bye” (our last name)!
OMG on everything you stated in this post!
This is TOTALLLLLLLY my Greg!
Except he doesn’t look at me ~acknowledge or answer my silly questions during football games! Especially when it’s his TIDE playing ball!
Can I just TELL YOU how much trouble I have with GREG making the move and calling it a night!!!!!!
He has NO LIMITS when it comes to leaving a social event or encouraging friends to leave our house after MID NIGHT!!!
Several weeks ago we hosted a party. Greg was in charge of shutting things off so friends could CATCH the ferry off the island at a reasonable time.
In other words…around 11:00 pm you begin asking the guest “what ferry” they are taking!!!!!!!
Everyone was getting tipsy!
It was well past midnight!
Greg was just propped back enjoying everyone loving our home!!!!
I was like WHAT THE HELL!!!!!
Half of the guest took the midnight ferry.
If you don’t take the midnight ferry….the next ferry…the LAST one off the island….doesn’t run until after 1:00!!!!
When that first group left I was like DO WHAT?????
There’s a second group that won’t leave til after 1:00 am???
Then I’m worrying that everyone will be DRUNK by then and making a scene on the ferry and the BI cops will come and ask us why we let friends ride the ferry INTOXICATED! {not good!}
Again….Greg sits back enjoying the company!!!!
By then I was expecting everyone to just spend the freakin’ night! ;)
I was in shock!!!!
Needless to say….he didn’t keep his end of the bargain!
I dont’ TRUST him one bit when it comes to shutting things down for the night!
I too am a home body!
Can you tell this struck a HUGE cord in me/
Ah…..haha!
xoxoxo
Love this post Kristan!
You are a doll!
I know your hubby adores you to pieces! ;)
So, the only thing better than a laugh-out-loud post by Kristan is one of Teresa’s famous comments with lots of !!! and capital letters! I’m supposed to be going to pick my child up from school but instead I’m sitting here laughing out loud at the 2 of you…and getting really, really hungry for those bars! :)
I thoroughly enjoyed this post (I’m somewhat of a *social by association* type myself and would prefer being home than anywhere else) While my husband knows when to exit any gathering I had to laugh at what you go through with yours. Then of course in reading the comments I had to laugh again at poor Teresa. I’d love to be a fly on the wall should the two of you ever get your heads together in a corner :)
I want to come over to your house and play. We could bake yumminess and make prettiness, and then we could make our (older, mine has 10 years on me) husbands do things to makes us laugh…if we could get them to stop chatting long enough.
Also, whatever yumminess we made would have to involve Laffy Taffy. But not the banana ones. Sorry.
I can totally relate! I am definitely going to have to think up a code word! Thanks for the idea! BTW, you totally need no make more youtube videos!! I loved the one you did with your son!! SO cute!
Ha! This post is sooo me! I’m always craving the sweatpants, oh and I totally love Laffy Taffy! I so get you!
I feel your pain…my hubby is more social than me too, and I am always the one thinking about my yoga pants at home that I just want to put on and then watch TV or play video games. I like your idea of a code word!! ;-)
I made these bars to share at my mother-in-law’s Thanksgiving last night. They were a HUGE hit!! Everyone loved them & wanted the recipe. Thanks for making me the dessert hero! ;)
Yay!! That is great news!! :)
Just made these……………… WOW. The caramel almost makes it too rich!
[...] And speaking of my favorite things, Kristan put three of the greatest things ever into a bar. Well hello there Toffee Caramel Chocolate Chip Bars… [...]
[...] And speaking of my favorite things, Kristan put three of the greatest things ever into a bar. Well hello there Toffee Caramel Chocolate Chip Bars… [...]
You are great! Just found your blog today and I’ve been wandering around here for a good amount of time now. Ps – I’m hungry.
Thanks for sharing – your recipes are right up my alley!
I made these for a family dinner and everyone RAVED about them. So yummy – and easy to make!
I made these this weekend and they are heavenly! Love the caramely part :)
[...] kind of shocked when I took a bite at how much I loved these! You can find the complete recipe on Confessions of a Cookbook Queen. She’s kind of a genius. All I changed was I used about 40 instead of 32 caramels, I thought [...]
Just made them. I used what I had on hand. Had to substitute chocolate cake mix and a bag of butterscotch morsels. Other than that I only had 1/2 a bag of toffee bits and 3/4 a bag of baking caramels, so I used those. YUM! Sweet Tooth is now satisfied. DH is not feeling well today, I sure do hope these perk him up when he gets home from work today. Thanks.