Triple Peanut Butter Cookies
Three things:
1. My son has recently decided that he is training to be a magician. And apparently, part of being a magician is tying clear fishing line to things and pulling on it so it looks like the things are moving on their own. Because of this, I tripped on a tangle of it on my kitchen floor yesterday morning, and also got my arm caught in about 3 feet of it that was in my son’s dirty clothes hamper.
2. My husband found a scorpion in our dining room on Sunday. It was alive. WAS (past tense). And although I never got close enough to get a good look, I’m pretty sure it was really giant. I just had that creepy feeling about it. Anyways, I’m thinking that it probably had a friend or a spouse who is now hiding somewhere, waiting to avenge it’s death. So at least once an hour, I swear I feel a sharp pinch on one of my toes. It’s a phantom scorpion bite. But I assure you, it hurts no less than a REAL scorpion bite.
3. I’ve been hearing lots of noises in my house lately. My husband says it’s squirrels on the roof (we live by lots of trees) but I am pretty sure it’s actually a hobo living in my attic. A hobo wearing clown make-up and carrying one of those tied up handkerchiefs on a stick. But instead of a deck of playing cards and gum and soap in the handkerchief, it’s sharp knives and grenades and a mini machine gun.
Anyways, remember when Dylan McKay lived at the Beverly Royale Hotel? And he was all brooding and contemplatey and ordered room service and maids cleaned his room for him? Well, I’m thinking that I need to take a cue from Mr. Sideburns and try hotel living for a little while. For my safety, obvs.
Right now I’m in the process of tallying up every non-essential expense my husband has ran up in the past year. You know, hunting equipment, UFC on Pay Per View…that sort of thing. I will then put together a pie chart presentation, justifying the cost of me living in a hotel. My husband will not be able to refuse.
See? Pie charts. Proof that I’m a completely sane, reasonable human being.
To further help my cause, I also made his favorite cookies. But I added lots of candy to them.
( and yes…I’m already practicing dialing room service)
(click here for printable recipe)
INGREDIENTS
1 stick of margarine
3/4 cup creamy peanut butter
1 1/4 cup light brown sugar
1 egg
3 Tablespoons milk
1 Tablespoon vanilla
1 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup Peanut Butter M&Ms
1 cup tiny (not fun size…TINY) Reese’s Cups or 1 cup of chopped Reese’s Cups chunks
Preheat oven to 375. In a medium bowl, combine flour, baking soda, and salt. Set aside.
In the bowl of a mixer, beat margarine, brown sugar, and peanut butter on medium speed until smooth. Change mixer speed to low and add milk, egg, and vanilla. Once it’s completely mixed in, add flour mixture. Beat on medium low until combined. Fold in candy.
Drop very large spoonfuls on an ungreased cookie sheet, about 2 inches apart. Bake for 8-9 minutes or until edges turn golden brown. Remove from oven and let cookies sit on pan for about 3 minutes. Using a spatula, remove to baking sheets.
Makes about 3 dozen large cookies.
(I adapted this recipe from one I found on Allrecipes.com about 7 years ago and have been using ever since. I can’t find the original recipe online anymore, so if you recognize it, let me know!!)
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go check my garage. I’m pretty sure my husband bought some new tools recently and I need to look them up online.
Tools are pretty expensive, right?
Hope you’re having a fabulous Tuesday!! Make these cookies SOON!!
Thanks for visiting my blog! I realize you could be doing more important things with your time. Like watching the news or washing socks. I hope you stay awhile. Much more fun than socks, I promise. 
Triple peanut butter…yum!!!! You crack me up!
I love reading your blog! You are too funny and I have decided that we really should be BFFs. Plus, peanut butter is one of my 3 favorite things EVER. Of all things edible. So this post is extra, extra special to me. Definitely keeping it.
These cookies look amazing! And yes tools cost a lot, I hope that pie chart helps your cause. :)
Yes I totally get the phantom bites. Eww. If I see a spider I feel spiders biting me for 3 weeks minimum.
I have a feeling that even without the pie chart, you don’t lose many battles. Go get um!
We went to a hotel room when my son was 11 months old because there was a mouse in our vents. It was midnight and I was terrified it would plop out into my son’s crib, and there was no way I’d fall asleep because I didn’t want a mouse crawling on my face, so I made my husband get the Pack N Play and we went to a hotel in the middle of the night.
I have issues.
Nothing is better than peanut butter than more peanut butter!
Well, since peanutbutter is one of my husband’s favorite 2 food groups (the others being ice-cream and cheese) I think I might need to whip up a batch of these babies for some leverage of my own! I have been wanting a Nook. Wonder if he will consider a swap? :) LOVE your posts.
I love the fact that you reference Dylan McKay living at the Beverly Royale. Remember the earlier episodes when the Beverly Royale was called the Bel Age? Those were the days! Oh, and the cookies look relish :)
Oops…that should say delish ..stupid autocorrect :)
You make me smile every time I read your blog! Thanks for that.
And thanks for the cookie recipe, my boys will love these.
These look completely amazing. I’m in a long term relationship with chocolate and peanut-butter!
This is my kind of cookie! Love this!
These cookies could be the love of my life!
Ah I love 90210 flashbacks:-) I think your thought process is completely rational. I bet you could rationalize for a super nice hotel;-)
Umm, that is one scary clown you described. Not liking the sound of him!
These cookies, however..yes please!
You had me at triple peanut butter. This is from a girl who has gone through 2 Costco sized jars of peanut butter in the last two weeks!
90210… loved that show! Totally forgot Dylan lived at the Beverly Royale Hotel… love the cookies, by the way… yum!
Seriously, Kristan, you’re too funny for my own good. I’m going to have to ban reading your posts in public, because I simply can’t control myself, and I think the people at Starbucks are starting to question my sanity.
I’m sure if I made them these cookies, they might be ok with it. Except I’d leave out the peanut butter cups…because in my for real crazy part of my brain, I don’t like them. I love the idea of peanut butter M&Ms in my peanut butter cookies, though. Yum!
P.S. Not gonna lie. I’m really glad that scorpion was at your house and not mine. Sorry. The truth hurts.
these look yummy I like peanut butter :)
Hey, Kristan! I stalk you regularly and think you rock! These cookies look fantastic!
You made me laugh so hard today with your pie charts! My husband just had a little “talk” with me about my spending habits not matching my income (stay home mommy!) and he used PIE CHARTS!!! In color. With stuff bolded. And they had post-it note arrows pointing to things. I am confident you will make your point. Book your room now at the Ritz!!
I have the same recipe (except my amounts are doubled, I must make a lot of cookies!). I use butter flavored Crisco instead of butter because I think it helps them stay fluffy, and chewy on inside, crispy on outside! I’ve been using this recipe for at least a dozen years (yikes, I’m old)! I adapted it from my chocolate chip cookie recipe! I love the idea of the candy, yum!
Oh, and your stories are hilarious!!!
OMG it’s so funny you should mention stuff like scorpions ……I went into my daughters room yesterday and something was on my forehead…..swatted it and it feel in the crib then onto the floor….must be a mosquito, I mean I am in Louisiana right….No a friggin SPIDER! I wanted to die. It has been squished, but I swear I felt something biting me on my forehead for the rest of the afternoon.
Love the cookies. Thanks for the recipe :)
I’m pretty sure I have a ghost in my house. But I have to admit – I’d rather have a ghost in my house than a hobo with knives. Room service (and some of these cookies!) sounds good to me right now!!
I bet the other scorpion is up in the attic plotting with the hobo…..
LOVE the reference to Dylan and 90210 – loved that show!!
Let us know how that pie chart turns out : )
scorpions are my worst nightmare. i wouldn’t just be moving to a hotel i’d moving to a different area code. i can’t believe you had a fricken scorpion in your living room. the fact that you are still baking super yummy cookies means you are a better woman that i.
That whole scorpion thing is terrifying. I’ve never even seen one in real life. Cant imagine having one IN my house. Anyhoo, these cookies look amazing. Like, eat-four-in-one-sitting amazing. Meaning I should not make these but we all know that I will, lol.
I want to move into a hotel that is know for it’s spa services. That is where you will find me. In the spa. I am pretty sure you could work up a wicked pie chart about how spa services are benificial to your health. I will help with the presentation.
The cookies look unbelievable. I will put them on my “to do” list.
You are too funny. I’d move into a hotel too with a scorpion (and it’s vengeful family!) was around.
These cookies look amazing! I’m not a huge fan of normal peanut butter cookies (even though i LOVE peanut butter) but these look way more exciting than the plain ones!
Good luck with the hotel stay….those cookies sound like a fool proof way to get your way to me. My father in law would flip for these! Thanks for recipe.
Must. Have. These. Now!!!!!
MMMMMMM I would love to make and eat these right now-too bad I ate a whole pack of peanut butter M&Ms on the way home from work. (Hey, all I had at work was broccoli and I have a long drive home-don’t judge me!)
And just exactly how TINY do you mean? Like really tiny or just sort of tiny?
Jk, I love those tiny things. The lady at Walgreens also talked me into buying those one day by saying she loved those kinds of Reese’s so she didn’t have to fool with the wrappers. lol (She was right.)
Hi
Recently found your blog and I think it’s great.. super fun recipes and funny awesome writing :)
Cookies look so good… but really I am commenting because I have an unnatural obsession with (the original) 90210. Any reference makes me excited! Makes me think of how Dylan would only eat cheeseburgers from the chef at the hotel.. and also Brenda and his first date!! Ahh.. swoon ..haha.
SCORPIONS! I HATE SCORPIONS! And tarantulas and all those crawly things we have here. I didn’t even know Arkansas HAD scorpions. I figured waterbugs were your cross to bear. and keep in mind. When tallying expenses, don’t forget to include any large equipment…trenchers, trailers, and the shop he builds in the back yard DO apply. that will give you about a $30,000 head start!
Tell your hubbster that the house needs to be fumigated to get rid of all things scorpion/hobo squirrels. :O) if not just keep making cookies/cupcakes that are decorated w/ scorpoins and squirrels dressed like hobos carring knives :O) Tell him you cannot get those out of your mind and it is inhibiting your creativity.
Triple peanut butter? Yes please!!!
Good luck with the pie charts, if they don’t work you can always cancel his UFC on Pay Per View until he comes around to your way of thinking. I hear it works even better than the old banning them from the bedroom tactic! Seriously though, these cookies might just help him see the need for a hotel stay.
I love, love, love peanut butter M&Ms! I need to make these now! Dylan was so awesome living in that hotel! but I really loved that house he had also.
Gosh I grew up watching 90210! LOL your son be a magician is awesome! I love magic oh and the cookies look amazing too!
I think living in a hotel for a bit is totally logical… Scorpions are gigantic no matter what anyone says. And they are always scary. And that is why I live in Maine. Because scary stuff stays away from Maine. Because it is cold. Almost always. And it snows for half a year.
But that’s ok because I can stay inside and make yummy cookies and cupcakes. It’s a good excuse.
So good luck with the hotel pitch. I am cheering for you! :p
Oh and thanks so much for the cookie idea! Yum. I love peanut butter!
Too funny! Good luck with the pie charts! In the mean time, the cookies are amazing!
These are special cookies. I have to make them for my grandchildren.
My mother-in-law who lives in Alma has caught 8 scorpions in her house! Eight!!!! And just last night I had a snake in my flower bed! Ah, Arkansas living.
You continue to be one of my favorite blogs – you can always make me laugh! =) The cookies look amazing…thinking about making them for the Arkansas game on Saturday!
YUMMYYY!!! I love peanut butter!!! I’m bookmarking this right now :) I hope I have time to make them this weekend!
Good Lord. I just made these cookies and I believe I may be in love.
They’re so good, aren’t they?! :)
I want to try to make this recipe, but with a chocolate base instead of a white base. Do you happen to know how I would need to modify the recipe to do that? Thanks!
[...] I’ve been sleeping with a lamp on and my pepper spray aimed towards the attic, in case the killer hobo gets any crazy ideas and decides to come [...]
LOVE the cookies! Stumbled onto your website and am loving it! Love your posts, too! :)