I realize that I’m a fairly young person who doesn’t have a lot of life experience yet, but I can say with a fair amount of certainty that I have been through more than my share of stressful situations.
Waiting tables on Mother’s Day right after church lets out.
Quitting my job and moving from the sort-of-but-not-really-boonies to the this-is-definitely-no doubt-about-it-really-the-boonies.
Being given the stink eye by the hospital nurses when my son wouldn’t breastfeed and he was hungry and crying and I didn’t know what to do.
But I can assure you that none of those situations come close to the stress of the morning drop-off line at the elementary school.
Seriously, that thing just about gives me a heart attack every day.
Mainly because I don’t do well under pressure. Neither, apparently, does my son.
Because somehow, this sweet boy who manages to be “finished with dinner” before I’ve barely sat down at the table, promises that he washed his “ENTIRE body” after a two minute shower, and has his room “clean” in ten seconds needs NINETY EIGHT YEARS to open the door and get out of the car.
And everyone knows that a second of real time equals like….almost an hour in line drop off time. So, I’d say that ninety eight years is actually being quite generous.
I’ve even come up with a system that I never EVER stray from:
1. I remind my son to unbuckle and put his backpack on right as we coast slowly towards the end of the car line. I say it all nice and friendly, but deep down, I’m already fighting the nervous tremors.
2. I press the unlock button to make sure the door will be ready when it’s his turn to get out. Actually, I press it about nineteen times, just in case it didn’t work the first eighteen. Also, I just need something to do with my nervous, anxious hands.
3. While we are waiting in line, I have my son give me an ADVANCE kiss and hug goodbye. This is important because kiss and hugs take precious time that I won’t have to waste once the drop off is actually in progress.
4. As I pull to a designated kid-letting-out spot, I tell my son goodbye and that it’s time to get out.
And this is where things get tricky. My son now begins looking around the car. Does he already have his backpack on? Is there another mini muffin left in the bag on the dashboard? Is my iPod charged so he can play Angry Birds when he gets out of school?
You know…all the important things he didn’t do on the whole 20 minute drive to school.
And that’s when people start judging me.
I know they are. I can totally feel their judgment glares boring holes in the back of my seat while my son slooooowly makes his way out of the car.
I’m holding up the line. I smile at my kid and ask him to please hurry I love you but people are judging us have a good day i love you hurry up hurry up hurry up.
I’m seriously researching other drop-off methods.
Could I buy a small plane and drop him with a parachute right in front of the school door?
Or what about one of those super duper long zip cord things? Seriously, I’ve seen some of those that are really long, plus they strap you in so it’s totally safe.
A circus cannon? I mean, as long as there was like…a pile of feathers or something for him to land in once I shot him out it would probably be okay. Right?
Maybe dig a tunnel that leads from my yard to the inside of the school? I’d have to hire someone to dig the hole since I’m allergic to being outside and sweat, but surely it can’t be that expensive.
This is too stressful for me to even think about anymore.
Let’s talk about cupcakes, want to?
Yummy Cookies and Cream Cupcakes with sugary sweet filling to be more specific.
**Cupcake batter portion of the recipe from Tidy Mom
(click here for printable recipe)
1 box Duncan Hines White Cake Mix
1 stick of butter, melted
1 cup water
24 whole Oreos
Preheat oven to 350 and line muffin tins with liners. Place an Oreo in the bottom of each liner.
In the bowl of a mixer, combine cake mix, eggs, melted butter, and water. Mix on low speed for one minute. Increase speed to high and beat for a minute more. Fill liners 2/3 full and bake for about 20 minutes or until tops of cupcakes spring back when lightly touched.
While cupcakes are baking, make your filling.
13 oz jar Marshmallow Creme
1 stick salted butter, softened
1/4 teaspoon vanilla
4 Tablespoons heavy cream
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
In a large bowl, beat Marshmallow Creme, butter, heavy cream and vanilla on medium low until smooth. Slowly add the powdered sugar and increase speed to medium high and beat for about a minute. Refrigerate filling until cupcakes are done baking and cooled.
Once cupcakes are cooled completely, remove filling from the refrigerator and fill the cupcakes. You can do this by cutting a small hole in the top of the cupcake and spooning the filling in, or putting the filling in a pastry bag with a bismarck tip and piping it in through the top of the cupcake.
4 sticks salted butter
1/4 cup heavy cream
2 teaspoons vanilla
8 cups powdered sugar
15 Oreos, crushed VERY FINELY
In the bowl of a mixer, beat butter, cream, and vanilla on medium-low until smooth and well-combined. Slowly add powdered sugar. Once powdered sugar is barely mixed in, increase speed to medium-high and beat for 2 minutes. Fold in crushed Oreos.
Generously frost or pipe frosting on cupcakes and top with a mini Oreo if desired.
Store uneaten cupcakes in the refrigerator.
You want a few of these, right?
And I’m sorry to say that I don’t have any left. So….I guess you better make some, huh?
Have a happy Tuesday and thanks for visiting me today!!
**If you haven’t entered my giveaway for an autographed copy of Rocco DiSpirito’s new cookbook, scroll down to the next post and enter!!