What to do when you come home in the morning and find two men painting and doing repairs in your house unexpectedly:
1. Immediately run outside and call your husband. When he tells you that yes, the men are SUPPOSED to be there, and asks if you talked to the men before calling him, angrily loud whisper that WHEN YOU COME HOME TO MEN IN YOUR HOUSE YOU RUN. YOU DO NOT WALK UP TO THEM AND START DISCUSSING THE WEATHER. Duh. Seriously.
2. Try to ignore the fact that one of the worker men is listening to Taylor Swift. Loud Taylor Swift. Although your first instinct is to be slightly disturbed by this, upon further reflection you realize that this could be evidence of a sensitive side and bodes well for your chances of not being murdered.
3. Put off your plans of taking photographs for your blog.
A woman taking pictures of food in front of a big piece of construction paper is weird to normal people. I don’t know why. It just is.
4. Try to think of stuff normal people do, and do it.
Empty the dishwasher, make a sandwich, fold laundry…all normal things. Fight the urge to put on your husbands wool socks, pull them up to your knees, and dig into a giant box of Marshmallow Peeps while doing some online shopping and listening to Salt ‘N’ Pepa.
5. Cut back on your intake of Diet Dr. Pepper. Drinks mean having to pee. Which is obviously something you DON’T want to do with strange men in your house. Avoid the bathroom at all costs. It’s just asking for an awkward yelling-I’ll-be-right-there-from-the-toilet situation.
6. Call your husband again and loud whisper about how badly you have to pee. He will probably think you’re overreacting and won’t have a ton of sympathy, but that’s okay. The main thing is that you get your unhappy feelings on the record. I’ve learned that several uncomfortable situations can usually be cashed in for some sort of guilt prize.
7. When one of the men walks up and starts talking to you while you are in the middle of writing a blog post about him, stay calm. He doesn’t know what you’re writing. He doesn’t know what you’re writing. He doesn’t know what you’re writing. OMG ITSWRITTENALLOVERYOURFACECLOSETHELAPTOPNOW
As always, the above situation is entirely hypothetical.
But if something like that DID happen to me, what I would probably do is wait until the worker guys were gone and then set forth conducting baking experiments free from observation and judgement.
And one of those experiments would probably be seeing what would happen if Almond Joys and brownies got married and had a baby.
Normal people do stuff like that ALL THE TIME.
So…it turns out that an Almond Joy Brownie baby is delicious.
Really super crazy delicious.
Wanna find out for yourself?
**inspired by Joy the Baker’s Homemade Almond Joy
(click here for printable recipe)
Brownie batter (homemade, from a boxed mix, whatever is your favorite. I used Ghirardelli)
4 cups sweetened shredded coconut
14 oz can sweetened condensed milk
About 4 dozen almonds
Chocolate candy melts or almond bark
Preheat your oven according to brownie recipe directions and generously spray two mini muffin pans with nonstick spray. Fill cups about 1/2 full with brownie batter and bake according to directions. When brownies are done, place pans on a cooling rack and remove brownies once cooled completely.
In a medium bowl, combine coconut and sweetened condensed milk. With clean hands, roll coconut mixture into balls and press onto tops of brownie bites. Press an almond into the top of each. Place brownies in the freezer to harden for about 15 minutes.
Melt almond bark or candy melts according to directions. Remove brownies from freezer and dip the tops in the chocolate. Place dipped brownies on a wax paper lined baking sheet and refrigerate until chocolate is set.
Depending on what brownie recipe you use, you should get about 36-48 brownie bites.
So…yeah. You should probably make these pretty soon.
I mean, as you can see from this post, I give excellent advice.
Have a happy Wednesday!!