Dear Nurse at My Doctor’s Office:
First off, please know that I realize you have a super important and sometimes not very fun job.
I mean, sick people and hurt people are two of my least favorite people to deal with, (I’m weird about germs and blood) so I really respect the fact that your day is full of both.
Plus, you manage to make scrubs look halfway cute, and that probably deserves an award of some sort.
However.
I would like to take a moment to discuss one very important aspect of your job that I really don’t feel you are taking seriously enough.
The part where you weigh people.
Because if we are being honest, I was not too comfortable with the way you flipped that slidey thing on the top of the scale all willy nilly and fast-like. Considering the fact that you are writing my weight down on my very PERMANENT medical record, it should be taken with a bit more care and precision.
Also, I’m pretty sure that you made no deduction for my shoes, clothing, and extremely large purse.
Which contains not only a sizeable amount of change, but at least seven ink pens, four Tootsie Roll Pops, and twelve tubes of varying shades of pink lip gloss.
And in case you are unaware, lip gloss weighs a lot more than you think it would.
It’s the way they package it or something.
I’m hoping I’m mistaken, but I also sort of felt like I detected a hint of judgement in your eyes when you announced my weight to me. And just so you know, I totally realize that I’ve gained a few pounds lately, but that is only because I’ve been super busy. And sometimes when people are super busy they just grab, say, a handful of BBQ Pork Rinds and a few candy corn for dinner.
So really, my weight gain is only due to the fact that I’m such a hard worker.
Do you think you could go back and write that down on my chart? I’m thinking that the working part might cancel out a few of my pounds.
Anyways, another thing you need to take into consideration is that have a dessert blog. And sometimes I make stuff with lots of candy and caramel on it and then I have to try it so I can tell my readers if it was good or not.
I really did think about telling you that, but then I’d have to explain what a blog was and I’d feel all weird and awkward and I would probably end up apologizing but neither of us would really know why.
So basically, that’s it. I hope maybe I’ve inspired you to go back and make a few notations and adjustments, which is probably the right thing to do.
By my calculations, I’m pretty positive I weigh like 110 pounds. Which is WAY different than what you came up with, but you can just take my world for it.
Thanks a whole bunch,
Kristan (aka the lady with the swollen ankle and foot that was still squeezed into cute shoes)
These bars are very easy and are perfect for a fall get together. They have an oatmeal cookie base, and are topped with caramel, M&M’s and peanut butter chips. I used the fall M&M’s, but you could use any color.
And they are not fattening AT ALL.
Okay, maybe a tiny bit.
Whatever. I don’t like talking about calories.
**adapted from Taste of Home
(click here for printable recipe)
INGREDIENTS
1/2 cup butter, softened
1 cup packed brown sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 cups quick cooking oats
1 package (14 oz) caramels
3 Tablespoons water
1 1/2 cups M&M’s
1 cup peanut butter chips
3 oz white candy coating (or white chocolate)
Preheat oven to 350. Spray a 15x10x1 inch pan with nonstick spray.
In a large bowl, cream the butter and brown sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in the egg and vanilla. Combine the flour, baking soda and salt and mix into the creamed mixture. Stir in the oats.
Press the oat mixture into the greased pan. Bake for 10-15 minutes until golden brown. Cool completely on a wire rack.
In a microwave, melt the caramels with the water, stirring every minute or so. Once completely melted and smooth, pour and spread over the oatmeal crust. Sprinkle immediately with the M&M’s and peanut butter chips. Melt the white candy coating and drizzle over tops. Cut when candy coating is set.
These are an easy and impressive treat to throw together for a fall party or potluck.
Enjoy!
Happy Friday!!
Lol i hate that part too! I don't get weighed at the doctors anymore but that's of a different concern. These look great! I love chocolate and caramel together.
Tasty! And I really think that you should be allowed such deductions. I have a hate/hate relationship with the scale, I get on backwards and tell them if they mention a number they die.
Definitely the worst part of going to the doctor. You failed to mention that their scale always weighs at least 5 pounds heavy.
I'd rather get a shot than get weighed!!! Seriously.
Ha-ha! I love it "By my calculations, I'm pretty positive I weigh like 110 pounds. Which is WAY different than what you came up with" You're fantastic!
Ohhh…those look sinful! BUT YUMMY!!! Thanks for sharing!
While you're at it, could you tell the nurse at my doctor's office that, no matter how well intentioned, "You really don't look like you weigh that much," is NOT a compliment.
These look delicious and I think I'm going to print this letter out to bring to my doctor's office. Of course, I'll have to take off the part about the dessert blog, still I think that would mean that I really weigh about 120 instead….
These look great!
I hate the scale and stand on it backwards…with my shoes, earrings, bracelets, belt and wedding ring OFF. It adds up :)
these look delicious and there is oatmeal – so yeah,healthy:-)
So thankful I didn't have coffee yet this morning or I'm sure it would have been spewed all over my computer screen. That is hilarious!! Can't wait to try the bars either!!! YUM
wow, you changed your site… i'm glad you mentioned that in your last post b/c i read you posts in my google reader and i don't get to see that stuff. very cool! and as always, i love your dessert posts – caramel and m&m's yum!
Cute! Great post. ;)
Lip gloss weighs a TON! And hellooo shoes!? Deduct like 10, wait 15 pounds for those. Seriously, doesn't the nurse know you need to back into these numbers!?
On another note, we want a whole pan of these oatmeal, M&M delicious looking things.
Thank you so much for your GREAT writting. I read your OHHHH so yummy food blog while eating a bowl of granola this morning and just about choked on an alomnd! It's like you were there with me!
Good gracious, you are beautiful! Don't worry about that stinking nurse! Those look absolutely amazing. Seriously.
This made me laugh out loud the entire time I was reading it!! I love your blog….it really puts a smile on my face.
That looks yummy! I'm sure the nurse can knock off a couple of pounds from your record if you send her a slice ;)
You are really hilarious lady!
You've just given me a great idea. When I go in for my next appt., I'm going to have the nurse write down my blog URL right next to my weight. LOL
you crack me up……..you know you should have taken something yummy to bribe her with! lol
I definitely think food bloggers should have 10 pounds canceled out of their weight. I mean, we do all that eating for the great good, right?
Hilarious post and great treat.
Very cute post, and a very YUMMY treat!
I just went through this whole process at the Doc's on Thursday. It was humiliating! I'm pretty sure I weigh 110 too… :)
Saw this recipe and had to make it right away…. picnic this afternoon. Ran into a problem…. the ingredient list does not call for any flour yet in the directions it says to add the flour?????? I added 1 cup of flour and they turned out great, just guessed. You might want to edit the recipe.
This looks delish. Will have to try, especially since I love the theme candies. Halloween colors!
I think that clinic scales must add weight like television cameras do….at least 10% of your true weight. Plus, how often do they re-calibrate those scales? They weight dozens of people a day, so they most be out of correct calibration….
You are hilarious! You have a similar sense of humor to another blog I love called Hyperbole and a Half. You are SO dry and sarcastic! Keep up the good work!!!
Ronda: Thank you so much!! How have I not been reading Hyperbole and a Half already?! That girl is hilarious!!
Thank you for the compliment AND for turning me on to a great blog.
This is your funniest post yet, I guess because I can relate! I have told the nurse that "I don't feel like weighing today" and she complies:)
If I haven't told you already, you need to take your show on the road!
Oatmeal and caramel are a great pair, especially topped with candy!
Totally agree with you on the getting weighed thing. I mean honestly, they are so busy why should they waste time weighing us? They could just ask us how much we weigh, it's not like we would lie about it, right? jeesh.
Oh my word, these look amazing!
I just found your blog through your link on April Showers FB page.
You have such a lovely blog, it's great! These recipes make me want to go mix up something tasty right NOW! =)
I'm your newest follower.
These look amazing!!!! I will sadly admit that last night I made chocolate chip cookies, with waaay too many chocolate chips in them and before eating one…figured out the calories. Except I just realized (after eating 4) that I never took into consideration the chocolate chips…