A complete recap of episode 2 of The Bachelorette Kaitlyn Bristowe.
(For a recap of episode 1, click HERE)
The episode opened with Kaitlyn “waking up” in her bed on the Bachelorette compound. In full make up, with hair perfectly tousled, and wearing a bra, tank top, and leggings.
So yeah. Maybe I do hate her after all.
Chris Harrison came over for a visit and she basically told him that she plans on kissing all the men all the time. I’m trying so hard not to hold her to a higher standard because she’s a woman, but it’s not easy. Also, do these contestants not worry about all the germs they are passing around? Have you SEEN the abs on some of these men? These dudes been around, just saying.
The men wake up and sit around visiting and drinking coffee. Or possibly vodka in a coffee cup, I don’t even know. I wouldn’t put anything past the ABC producers at this point. It’s pretty obvious that the men are divided into two categories — the ones who voted for Kaitlyn and the ones who voted for Britt. One guess on which group is at the bottom of the spit swapping totem pole. Sorry guys, but you messed up.
Next we see Britt, crying..shocker. She’s sobbing on the phone but somehow her winged liner still looks perfect. Mine would be smeared in a long black streak across my face, but whatever. I’m not bitter or anything.
Britt gets a knock on her hotel room door and she opens it to find….Brady, the country singer who left the show during the rose ceremony the night before to go after her. She actually doesn’t seem that surprised, which is bothersome to me. I’d have so many questions — how did you know where I was? Why are you here? Why are you wearing a scoop neck tee — do you just really love your collarbone? Did you bring donuts because I’m starving!
Nope, she’s just like oh hi, come on in, this isn’t weird at all.
Back at the mansion, the first date card arrives addressed to: Daniel, Justin, Jared, Corey, Tanner, Kupah, Ben H, and Ben Z. It reads: I see this ending with a ring.
IT is at this point that I basically miss all the boxing because of tornado coverage in our area. Damn you, Arkansas!! When the show picks back up, someone is shining a flashlight in Jared’s eyes. So I guess I missed the best part where people punched each other.
Meanwhile, Kaitlyn is having dinner with the guys from the group date. Jared had to go to the doctor and apparently Kaitlyn is “concerned” but NOT CONCERNED ENOUGH TO BE WITH HIM. It just feels kind of rude to me?
Kaitlyn takes Ben Z aside and he tells her about his mom’s death. They had a great conversation. Next is cutie pie Justin and they talk about his son. After that comes Corey… and I’m like…wait. Who is he? Is he her gynecologist? Why does he look like a gynecologist to me? Why is there always that person who I swear I’ve never seen before??
While Kaitlyn is talking to Daniel, a note is brought to her asking her to come downstairs. She goes outside and it’s Jared and he’s like “Hey you ungrateful hussy, what’s this I hear you’ve been smooching on dudes while I’ve been in the hospital?”
Okay he didn’t say that. But I wish I had. Really he just kissed her and that was about it. Kaitlyn returns to the group and the group date rose goes to Ben Z. Then they kiss.
Another question: Do you think their lips ever get tired?
Back at the mansion, a date card arrived for Clint. It reads: You take my breath away.
The next day, Clint and Kaitlyn leave for their date.
Is it just me, or does he sometimes slightly resemble Jax Teller from certain angles? Or am I wishful thinking?
They arrive on their date and it turns out that they are going to be doing an underwater photo shoot. Kaitlyn and Clint go put fancy clothes on and do breathing exercises (her dress was GORGEOUS, it pained me to know that it would be going in the pool) and then jump in for photos.
Honestly, it all looked super stressful to me. You’re fully dressed, soaking wet, holding your breath and having your photo taken. It was basically like my worst nightmare.
Back at the mansion, another date card arrived and it is addressed to JJ, Jonathan, Joshua, Chris, Ian, Joe, and Tony. It reads: I want a man who will stand up for me.
Stand up comedy?
Back on their date, Kaitlyn and Clint are cleaned up and having dinner on dry land like normal people. I think I like Clint — he’s cute and has a great smile. And he’s an architectural engineer, which just sounds sexy. Jax Teller gets the one-on-one date rose. Obviously.
Back at the mansion, Tony the yoga guru is beside himself. He’s super looking forward to the group date although he can’t seem to remember that it’s Kaitlyn and not…Britt. He’s got crash and burn written all over himself and I can’t wait to see it go down.
Finally it’s time for the group date and it’s at a comedy club. Amy Schumer is there to show the guys how to do stand up comedy but something tells me that they won’t quite catch on so fast. Bless them, they are struggling. Except for JJ, who feels pretty dang confident. And he shouldn’t. Because he’s basically a horrible person. Like literally one of the worst people I’ve ever seen in my life.
Finally it’s time for the show to start. Most of the guys did surprisingly well. Chris the dentist was absolutely adorable — I’m really loving him.
And then Tony came up. And did not do comedy at all but instead, gave a speech about finding himself.
Later the group gathered for drinks and Kaitlyn spent some one-on-one time with the men. Tony continued to talk nonsense. He’s totally the pomegranate Ashley of this season. Like for real, can we get the two of them on a date together and videotape it? I would watch the heck out of that show.
The group date rose went to JJ because Kaitlyn is obviously hearing impaired. KAITLYN — ALWAYS GO WITH THE GUY WITH THE CUTE COUNTRY ACCENT. Gah, this is so obvious.
Cocktail party night!
JJ pulled Kaitlyn aside as soon as the party began, which rubbed the guys totally the wrong way. “He already has a rose!!” “No fair!!” “He’s not here for the right reasons!” I swear, these men are such drama queens.
With that being said, I’d love to see one of them punch JJ in his smug face.
Kupah and Kaitlyn had some time together and it ended with them agreeing that they didn’t have a connection and he went home. It was a really strange conversation and he more or less dug his own grave. He ended up getting sent home before the rose ceremony. Also, he talks really loud. Like, REALLY LOUD. The show ended with him screaming at the producers.
It was also revealed that Britt and Brady are actually dating although I don’t know that I believe it. The photos they’ve both shared on Instagram look old, and I’m a world class internet sleuth, so I’d know. Nice try, ABC.
Guess we’ll find out what happened with Kupah next week!